Inspiration

I've talked about her on my blog.

My children know her best.

I got to see her speak here.

What a sweetheart.

 Her book, 

Heaven Is Here

will be out April 3rd.

My copy will arrive and

I'm very sure 

laundry will have to wait!

Inspiration comes first. 

Right?

Growing a man

 

 This boy of mine.

He loves his mamma.

He asked me for a XBOX.

I said no.

Playstation?

NO.

Our neighbor has one.

I don't mind it a little here and there.

But,

NO.

You may not sit in your room

with your very own big screen TV,

with head phones on,

and play for hours and hours.

NO WAY.

I say, 

I'm raising you into a man.

I'm raising a missionary.

You've got to know how to work.

How to talk.

How to get along with out being plugged in.

I was addicted to Super Mario Brothers.

We didn't have it at home,

thank goodness.

Just at our cousins.

He has a DS.

I don't really like it much either.

He only has 1 game right now.

He does pretty good.

In the winter I've got to remind him to put it away.

I'm so thankful for our ease of life.

We don't have to hunt for food,

or build or own home from the trees on our land.

But man,

I bet families back in those days knew how to really get things done.

Everyone must have had to pitch in.

I hated work when I was a kid,

but now I see what it did for me.

Ethan.

He's learning way before I did.

Its not easy for him.

See's how some live a different way than we do.

But,

 he's not a brat about it.

He hugs me.

He says he understands.

I'm thankful for him.

He's a sweet boy.

 ♥

I call plates and bowls!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I call plates and bowls!!!!!!!!!!!

Love it when she says this.

I announce for them to clean two item types

out of the dishwasher.

Everyone is in a hurry to get first pick.

Whitney is often first.

Wish I would've thought of this long ago.

My dishwasher gets cleaned out FAST these days!

After dinner

sometimes I have to say.

"Um, this isn't Hotel Wiberg,

come back in here and help. 

I used to let them leave me alone with a mess.

I didn't make it mandatory.

They used to whine 

it was easier to let them go.

But now its tradition.

I make dinner.

You help set the table.

You clear the table.

You put away leftovers.

You sweep the floor.

or um you don't eat.

Besides its sooo rude.

We all live here together,

and to my delight

My kids get this.

Finally.

When I was a kid.

I didn't get it.

Maybe I didn't feel ownership.

I was a slave,

I thought.

Vowed my kids would understand 

why and how to contribute.

Tonight,

Abby

went to her dad,

said," May I take your plate?"

Sweetest words from her lips all day.

 A new season of motherhood has arrived.

My kids are getting it.

Sometimes I see-

selflessness,

obedience,

charity, 

independence. 

I'm relieved.

I have hope.

That maybe.

Just maybe.

Despite all my mistakes

and their mistakes too.

They'll grow up

contribute,

work hard,

and be happy adults.

And they'll teach their kids, 

the things I taught them.

Pics taken a few years back.

At our first house.

 When getting there help was more work for me.

♥

Silly and Serious

Silliness

 Seriousness

When a child needs correction, you might ask yourself, “What can I say or do that would persuade him or her to choose a better way?” When giving necessary correction, do it quietly, privately, lovingly, and not publicly. If a rebuke is required, show an increase of love promptly so that seeds of resentment may not remain. To be persuasive, your love must be sincere and your teachings based on divine doctrine and correct principles.

Do not try to control your children. Instead, listen to them, help them to learn the gospel, inspire them, and lead them toward eternal life. You are God’s agents in the care of children He has entrusted to you. Let His divine influence remain in your hearts as you teach and persuade.

Elder Russell M. Nelson, "Salvation and Exaltion," Ensign May 2008

♥

I get up everyday to a job that I'll never be able to quit.

I look at my children and can't believe they are thriving despite my shortcomings.

Today as I woke them, fed them, and fixed their hair I thought about all the physical needs that I attend to for their sake.

Its important that my little girl looks like she belongs to somebody so I do her hair, usually while she protests.

Its important for them to be clean and dressed in a clothes without holes and stains.  

All through the day we tend to physical needs and some days are are full of them!!

This leads me into what I've been thinking about it.


I give great attention to all things physical, in fact some days I think I give too much attention to them. I feel like there's a HUGE imbalance. Too much physical, and not enough spiritual. 


My kids run out to catch the bus.  They're all ready-lunches made, backpacks with permission slips signed, homework usually done, hair done, faces clean.  

Then they come home- soccer practice, homework, chores.

The thing is, its how our world works.  The inner man is not seen.  We see only the clothes, the cars, the homes.  We judge a man, a child, by his stuff.  Its shallow, and I don't like it, but I feed into it. 

I feed into it because, honestly, it feeds my pride.  If my child is dressed to the nines, it makes me look like I have my act together.  


Mom's need a payoff. 

So we spend a bunch of time tending to shallow stuff.  


This morning my kids ran out to catch the bus, anyone that saw them would think they looked ready for school.  

Mostly, they were.


But I knew different.

I hadn't prayed with them.

I wish that it was easier to spend more time on the things that really mean something.  

I think I'm beginning to understand other forms of religion.
Some put aside all worldliness.  






Its no small feat to  put off pride and be humble.  


To find fulfillment in things that will not bring the attention of men is difficult for me.




As you look at the remainder of the pictures on this post, you will my sweet girl.  She is spunky and keeps me on my toes. 
Her character and personality are what I love most about her. 

I could take pictures of her all day long and post them but you can't see her, not really. 

I hope my kids are learning the worth of a soul.

I hope they feel confident without wearing all the right things.


Cause I'm still working on it.

♥

Find teaching moments

 5 more days until our date.She wants to go to Granny's.Then we'll take her to the temple.We'll sit and look at Moroni.He'll be bright against the black sky.She'll learn about the "birds and the bees"I'm getting a bit nervous, and anxious.I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up.Mom's are the best teachers.Turn off the radio and talk,let her jabber about her day,tuck her in and teach her about life.Squeeze the teaching moments in wherever, and whenever.
 ♥

His first kiss

 Riverfront Park

Farris Wheel ride with my son.

 

 

"Do you know what people do on Farris Wheel rides?" "NO". "They kiss."
He smirked.
"You should give me a kiss, it's tradition."
He puckered up,got me on the cheek.
I took a picture.

......
Last night I tucked him in.We talked about kissing.He's nearly 10.Tomorrow he'll be nearly 16.I've taught him that he'll want to kiss a girl.I've taught him about sex.Someday,it will fill his thoughts.How can it not.To think otherwise is naive.Posters at the mall,movies,magazines in the grocery line,a picture at some boys' house.An image online.Peers who share too much. I reminded him  the feelings,they are wonderful.God given.With them he can have a family.With them he will have the love of his life.But,at 11,12,13,14,15,16,17,     18......if he kisses a girl,and its not the kind of kiss he'd give his mama,it will be difficult to keep those feelings under control.Especially if she kisses his ear,or his neck.Its too sensitive there.He looks a bit embarrassed.I feel comfortable.He needs to be taught.I was 15 once.I sat in car and gave a kiss goodnight.You might think, 10????!!!I started when he was 8.His sex eduction will be taught in the loving arms of his mother.Teach him before he's in the middle of it.Teach him its normal.Teach him how to control this power.Teach him a peck on the cheek is tender.Teach him to respect.Teach him lust vs. love.Teach him to understand what happiness will be his if he waits for the Girl.The girl he will marry and love forever.Teach him the girls he dates should have his standards. Teach him he may be the only boy in control.Teach him to be strong no matter what anyone says or does.Teach him to respect a girl's family. Teach him to shake a father's hand with a firm hand and look him in the eye.Teach.Teach.Teach.Care.Think.Remember.My privilege.My responsibility.
His little sister just turned 8.Next month she will sit and learn from her parents.I will sit her on my lap.I will hold her in my arms.I will pray with her.I will teach her about love.I will teach her about wonderful desires. Desires given by God,For love For family.Its his plan.It works when we obey,when we control.Joy is the result.Joy that will radiate love and self-respect.
♥

Enjoy them while they're little.

 Kindergarten-September 2011  My youngest child loading the bus.

Over and over I've heard."Enjoy them when they're little."Um, yeah, rrrrrrrrright.  I used to think.What were these moms who either had no kids at home or older kids forgetting? When my kids were little,everything I did took so long to do,GROCERIESCLEANING THE HOUSEGETTING READY TO GO ANYWHERE Hassels and frustrationSleepless nightsDiapers TandrumsIt all happened and I remember it was stressful,I can't however remember the details.The days run into years.The years when they were young and home.I was their influence.I don't remember the details, why?I didn't "Enjoy them while they were little"
When a mother tells you to "enjoy them when they're little"Ask, why?Me? I'd tell you this:

Enjoy them when they're choices don't hurt your heart.Enjoy them before their agency becomes almost completely out of your control.Enjoy them when they want to tell you everything.Enjoy them before they have homework.Enjoy their small voices. Enjoy their innocence.Enjoy them before they want to be with friends more than they want to be with you.Enjoy the giggles.Enjoy the silly things that they say, because you'll forget.Enjoy the little messes.Enjoy less worry.Enjoy them while they think you're perfect.  I was a frenzied mess last week. I felt inept.I'm recouping today. Looking inward.Praying and pondering on how to change.I have to be strong.I have to remember I'm never alone. I have to realize its hard work.I have to expect that I can only do my best.Don't compare.

Progress- not perfection.

I'm growing too.

I'm learning too.

This life as mother changes everyday.

New challenges.

New moments to enjoy.

New moments that humble me and bring me to my knees.

I crave wisdom from mothers who told me,

"Enjoy them".
I'm grieving for my own mother's wisdom.

My heart is engulfed in sorrow.

I miss her terribly.

She would have the words.

She was calm in the storm of motherhood.

She would ease my troubled heart.

She would rub my head on her lap,

I'd really cry.

I'd tell her my wows.

She would say, "You're too hard on yourself."

She's in Heaven.

but maybe if I could be still,

I'd hear her.

"Kimi,

 I love you.

You are my beautiful red headed girl.

I'm proud of you.

I see all your good.

Love it all.

Every moment. 

You have a great work.

Soon you'll grieve for moments gone.

They grow up fast.

♥

Mom joy

Mac fun at Uncle Jevonn's March 2010   Jeff doesn't work on Fridays.Usually then, Thursday nights are late nights for us.So Friday mornings are a nice break from our 4:45 am routine.The kids still have school though.Yesterday I rolled out of bed at 7:45.The bus comes at 8:10.To my complete joy!!I found my kids fixing their own fried eggs,dressed from head to toe,backpacks and coats ready,vitamins and fish oil taken,and getting along all at the same time.Was I in the Twilight Zone!!??I praised their responsibility and completely gushed over them.Sometimes I feel like a big mom loser.I do things that I want to erase from everyone's mind.Yesterday I felt marvelous!!! In fact right now my girls are in the kitchen cleaning!!!!I didn't ask.I just heard Whit say,"Saturdays we should clean the fridge"My heart just went pitter patter. LOVE IT!!!ps We surprised the kids yesterday with a Rango matinee.It was okay.I won't say it was good. It was littered with the words hell and damn,I was VERY disappointed.

♥

She is sunshine.

This little girl of mine is sunshine.

She woke up an hour early yesterday and cleaned her little heart out.

I hadn't asked her to.
She emptied the dishwasher,

loaded the dishwasher,

swept,

de-cluttered,

and then straightened up our living rooms.

She did it all to free up time for me.

She's been begging for more time with her mama.

I took her out last night on a little date.

We giggled,

we were silly.

The girl reminds me of myself when I was little.

November in the park. It was the last warm afternoon of 2010.  

The kids love UNO.

Especially on a blanket, with the warm fall sun on our backs.

♥

Calm and collected

{image via} From the moment they walked through the door they were fighting.It didn't stop until they were all tucked in.But it lasted...Through homework.Through dinner.Through FHE.But I'm very happy to announce I stayed calm and collected.I did not add to the frazzle dazzle.I didn't, however, know how to bring laughter and peace.I was fuming inside.I was on the brink of tears.I didn't let the frusteration give way to anger.Which is usually the case.That's when the yelling errupts.But, how oh how do I vanish the contention calmly?My childhood home was mostly contentious.Yelling, demands, and belittlement.Laughter was scarce. Experience is lacking. Ideas came after they were in bed.Maybe I can sneek off to my room and put my hair in a funny ponytail,sing a solo with the fake micriphone. or play on old family video  or a group hug and tickle fest. Jeff snuggled up to me.I was drifting off to sleep.Words came from his heart. "I'm proud of you for keeping calm." ♥

A bad case of ugly mom.

I've been super grumpy with my kids. There's been little laughter at my house.I can't put my finger on the cause.Words that come to mind areTIREDSELFISHOVERWHELMEDNITPICKYSERIOUSI got really mad at my four year old tonight.  She won't stay in bed after I tuck her in.She bugs her older sister.And then the 2 boys get involved.Pretty soon I add to it all with my booming shouts.No change.So I stomp up the stairs.Paddle her bum. I don't believe in spanking.It doesn't work.Mostly because when I went downstairs I felt awful and I know she wasn't thinking about improving her actions in any way.All she was feeling, was hurt, madness, and belittlement.The same thing I felt when I was four, nine, twelve.I hate coercion in any shape or form,but this week I've used it over and over and right now I'm tears.I know better but I 'm stuck in a big horrible rut.Hopefully I'll get myself out somehow.
♥

Turn Back Tuesday

5 years ago.

3 kid lets.

They were so little.

So adorable.

Tonight, we're going to do this with the leaves we find when we go on a walk.
I love fall.
It is my favorite season, hands down.

Lately I've been snuggling my kids a lot.
They love stories about themselves.
They like stories about me too.
Last night it was fun to share their birth stories.
My oldest was surprised to learn that he was born a month early.

Its funny.
Some days I want motherhood to speed by.
Other days I find I'm basking in every moment.
I find when I'm not as selfish that the basking occurs.
Ya Think??

I've enjoyed a few deep, heart felt talks over the past few weeks when I've tucked my boys in bed.
I was itching to race downstairs so I could enjoy my time.
My oldest asked me a question I couldn't brush off.
It was deep.
Something about Heavenly Father.

They asked more questions and we talked.
I shared my deep convictions- my testimony of God, of Jesus Christ.
3 different times.
I tickled their backs.
I told them with tears in my eyes how bad I wish for them to be extraordinary.
Like super heroes.

1 hour later.
I felt good.
Like I was a super mom.
I've been a mother for almost 10 years now.
Somethings I'm getting pretty good at.
Laundry,
Sweeping,
Bossing.
Taking time to teach deep meaningful stuff every moment I can find- NOT so good at.
Monday night is not enough.
Sunday is not enough.
They have to know what I feel in my heart.
About God.
About them.
About my love for their dad.
So they'll feel it in theirs.



This morning all four kids snuggled up in my bed while I woke my sleepy head.
I read from the scriptures.
We prayed together.
I won't get everything done today.
But it feels so good to have done that one thing.
Its not tradition yet, but I hope it will be soon.

Seasons change.
And we can too.
I'm so glad.


♥

Times to remember

Its that time again.
School shopping.
I was brave enough to take all four kids with me.
The school supplies are already done.
I hired a babysitter for that.
But, tennis shoes had to be fitted to 3 growing feet.
We were gone for 4 hours.
4
This usually doesn't go over very well.
Someone's always pretty tired.
Someone's always fighting.
Someone's always irritated.-Any guesses who?


This time was different.
When we were all done we headed to the car.

"How come you guys were so good today?

Whitney beams a smile my way and says,
"We love you mom!!!!
You're the best mom ever, except for Jesus' mom."

I laughed my head off.
Where do kids come up with these thoughts?
Mary.
Me.
I don't know about that.

I enjoyed my children that day.
They listened.
They obeyed.
They were kind.
I was patient.
I let them "smell the roses".
There was no rush.


I thanked them profusely.
Even teared up.
Big Surprise there.
Pulled them all close to me and gave them a big hug.
Asked them if they felt good about the day.
They were all smiles.

We're going out today.
I'll fill up their bellies,
offer 3 Popsicle to the those that are happy shoppers,
and pray that I have the same type of patience that seemed to be around Tuesday.


♥

Teaching Tithing

To the ♥ of a 7 year old boy,
who has mopped, swept, washed, and worked his way to $30,
is not easy.


"Do you remember that you need to pay tithing when you make money?"

"MOOOooom!!!?? (Big frown, tears pooling up) I need all my money to buy the Thunder Driller."


I didn't know exactly what to say.
I offered a little prayer in my heart.
We were in my room.
I sat on the bed, patted a spot beside me.
He loves to be close to his mama.
I tickled his back-something he REALLY loves.
I could already feel his mood start to change.
He softened a bit, his body relaxed.
He looked up at me with those deep brown eyes.


"I remember when I started paying tithing.
It was hard for me to give my money away.
Paying tithing is showing Heavenly Father that we love him more than stuff.
Stuff breaks, it doesn't last."

I told him my first experiences.
I changed sprinklers all summer.
I worked hard.
I told him my experiences now.
I had just written a check for tithing that morning.
I told him about it.
Told him I could use that money to buy all kinds of things.
Told him I wanted new camera lenses, BAD.

"When I pay the Lord first,
it makes me stronger.
Makes me a better person.
I feel less greedy, and Heavenly Father blesses me for it."

I started crying at this point.
I told him about the all the good things that have happened.
I told him that I know Heavenly Father and Jesus are real.
They were watching us at that very moment.

"When my mom died
I felt their love,
when her spirit was struggling to leave her body.
It was really hard to watch that.
But I knew.
I felt so much love, during a time when it hurt so much.
They're real.
They love us.
Can we prove we love them?
Yes!
We pay tithing.
We give up we want.
Its really hard.
But it makes us good.
Less greedy.
More giving.
When you give your tithing to the Bishop your heart will feel so good.
I promise."

"Okay mom, I want to pay my tithing."

I wrapped my arms around my sweet boy.
Kissed his face...lots.
We found a tithing envelope, a slip, a pen.
I helped him write it out.
He sealed it up with a big, wet lick.
I put it in my scriptures, next to mine.

"On Sunday we'll go up together and give our tithing to the Bishop."


Sunday came.
He saw it in my scripture pouch when I was searching for my gloss.

"Mom, there's my tithing.
I can pay it today."

His smile was the story of his heart.

I taught him again.
quietly
I made sure he knew not to hold it up and show everyone.
Giving is best when its done without show.

The big hand was on the 2.
It was time.
We made our way up to the man on the stand.
The Bishop.
My BIG little boy handed his portion over to the Lord.
He gave the Bishop a solid hand.
Shook it hard.

"That's one good hand shake", he says.

Teaching Tithing?
A good way to mold a sweet boy,
into a sweet man,
and
put one big tear on a mother's cheek.

♥