His first kiss

 Riverfront Park

Farris Wheel ride with my son.

 

 

"Do you know what people do on Farris Wheel rides?" "NO". "They kiss."
He smirked.
"You should give me a kiss, it's tradition."
He puckered up,got me on the cheek.
I took a picture.

......
Last night I tucked him in.We talked about kissing.He's nearly 10.Tomorrow he'll be nearly 16.I've taught him that he'll want to kiss a girl.I've taught him about sex.Someday,it will fill his thoughts.How can it not.To think otherwise is naive.Posters at the mall,movies,magazines in the grocery line,a picture at some boys' house.An image online.Peers who share too much. I reminded him  the feelings,they are wonderful.God given.With them he can have a family.With them he will have the love of his life.But,at 11,12,13,14,15,16,17,     18......if he kisses a girl,and its not the kind of kiss he'd give his mama,it will be difficult to keep those feelings under control.Especially if she kisses his ear,or his neck.Its too sensitive there.He looks a bit embarrassed.I feel comfortable.He needs to be taught.I was 15 once.I sat in car and gave a kiss goodnight.You might think, 10????!!!I started when he was 8.His sex eduction will be taught in the loving arms of his mother.Teach him before he's in the middle of it.Teach him its normal.Teach him how to control this power.Teach him a peck on the cheek is tender.Teach him to respect.Teach him lust vs. love.Teach him to understand what happiness will be his if he waits for the Girl.The girl he will marry and love forever.Teach him the girls he dates should have his standards. Teach him he may be the only boy in control.Teach him to be strong no matter what anyone says or does.Teach him to respect a girl's family. Teach him to shake a father's hand with a firm hand and look him in the eye.Teach.Teach.Teach.Care.Think.Remember.My privilege.My responsibility.
His little sister just turned 8.Next month she will sit and learn from her parents.I will sit her on my lap.I will hold her in my arms.I will pray with her.I will teach her about love.I will teach her about wonderful desires. Desires given by God,For love For family.Its his plan.It works when we obey,when we control.Joy is the result.Joy that will radiate love and self-respect.
♥

Childhood

I'm just wondering what my kids will remember.

My childhood memories are mixed with emotions that make a difference today.

I came home from mutual last night and my girls got out of bed to greet me.

 I very rudely and abruptly told them to get back in bed.

I told them I'd be up to tuck them in in a few minutes.

I felt wet cheeks when I kissed Whit.

me:"Are you crying?"

Abby: "Mom, "You hurt Whitney's feelings."

I felt like a big jerk.

I pictured my own little self, running to greet my mommy.

How would I feel?

Me: "I'm soooo sorry, I wan't being very nice."

I covered her face with lots and lots of kisses.

 me:"Will you forgive me?"

I've never forgotten my little girl feelings.

I've never forgotten...

how it feels to snuggle with mommy in her bed.

  how it feels to be misunderstood.

 the "I'm sorrys" that were never said.

the "I'm sorrys" that were said.

the life talks with my mom.

the doll clothes she spent hours on.

I'm sad that sometimes I can't remember as many happy moments as I want to.

I tend to dwell and stew over unfavorable moments.

Its simply not good. 

I've drowned out happy memories by focusing on unforgotten hurts.

There's wisdom in forgiving. 

Childhood hurts,

childhood joys.

 Remembered.

Forgotten.

Feel again.

When my little girl cries.

Love.

Regret.

2011 goal: Organize pictures.  Any tips?

Mom loved to watch me sleep.

Loved that bikini.

We were fort builders.

I see myself.

♥

Teaching Tithing

To the ♥ of a 7 year old boy,
who has mopped, swept, washed, and worked his way to $30,
is not easy.


"Do you remember that you need to pay tithing when you make money?"

"MOOOooom!!!?? (Big frown, tears pooling up) I need all my money to buy the Thunder Driller."


I didn't know exactly what to say.
I offered a little prayer in my heart.
We were in my room.
I sat on the bed, patted a spot beside me.
He loves to be close to his mama.
I tickled his back-something he REALLY loves.
I could already feel his mood start to change.
He softened a bit, his body relaxed.
He looked up at me with those deep brown eyes.


"I remember when I started paying tithing.
It was hard for me to give my money away.
Paying tithing is showing Heavenly Father that we love him more than stuff.
Stuff breaks, it doesn't last."

I told him my first experiences.
I changed sprinklers all summer.
I worked hard.
I told him my experiences now.
I had just written a check for tithing that morning.
I told him about it.
Told him I could use that money to buy all kinds of things.
Told him I wanted new camera lenses, BAD.

"When I pay the Lord first,
it makes me stronger.
Makes me a better person.
I feel less greedy, and Heavenly Father blesses me for it."

I started crying at this point.
I told him about the all the good things that have happened.
I told him that I know Heavenly Father and Jesus are real.
They were watching us at that very moment.

"When my mom died
I felt their love,
when her spirit was struggling to leave her body.
It was really hard to watch that.
But I knew.
I felt so much love, during a time when it hurt so much.
They're real.
They love us.
Can we prove we love them?
Yes!
We pay tithing.
We give up we want.
Its really hard.
But it makes us good.
Less greedy.
More giving.
When you give your tithing to the Bishop your heart will feel so good.
I promise."

"Okay mom, I want to pay my tithing."

I wrapped my arms around my sweet boy.
Kissed his face...lots.
We found a tithing envelope, a slip, a pen.
I helped him write it out.
He sealed it up with a big, wet lick.
I put it in my scriptures, next to mine.

"On Sunday we'll go up together and give our tithing to the Bishop."


Sunday came.
He saw it in my scripture pouch when I was searching for my gloss.

"Mom, there's my tithing.
I can pay it today."

His smile was the story of his heart.

I taught him again.
quietly
I made sure he knew not to hold it up and show everyone.
Giving is best when its done without show.

The big hand was on the 2.
It was time.
We made our way up to the man on the stand.
The Bishop.
My BIG little boy handed his portion over to the Lord.
He gave the Bishop a solid hand.
Shook it hard.

"That's one good hand shake", he says.

Teaching Tithing?
A good way to mold a sweet boy,
into a sweet man,
and
put one big tear on a mother's cheek.

♥

Turn back Tuesday...

Check out that mane!

Don't you think I would've made a pretty good lion the year this picture was taken. Holy moley!! I showed this picture to my 5 year old daughter, pointed to the picture of me and asked her who it is was. She had no idea it was me! That's a good thing. Thank goodness for tweezers and the art of thinning hair!

♥

What's in a name?

When I was in Elementary School kids called me Kimi. Family called me Kimi Sue. Since my mom died, "Kimi" feels like home. At her funeral I saw so many people that I love and have known since my childhood, they called me Kimi. Several years ago I would've been annoyed. Not now. In fact, when Jeff calls me Kimi, I LOVE it.

Fur Elise is "Kimi" for sure. I played that song over and over while I made my sisters dance like ballerinas. I wore the song out.

"I Wanna Dance with Somebody" by Whitney Houston is "Kimi".

Day to Night Barbie, my first Barbie, is "Kimi" too.


When I look at this picture, I think Kimi. If you notice, she is smiling. I had just told her how much I loved it when she rubbed my temples, and that I'd always remember her when it was done to me or I did it to my children. I told her how much I loved her. I told her that mothering me was one of her greatest accomplishments.


I miss her.

♥