Live like this.

I read this today.

I'm posting it on the mirror,

in the bathroom that we all use the most.

I want us to read and reread.

I want to live this quote.

I feel strongly that I have good to share.

this quote is taken 
from Sheri L. Dew's Book

No One Can Take Your Place

 President Gordon B. Hinckley

BYU speeches 1996-97

"You are good. But it is not enough just to be good. You must be good for something. You must contribute good to the world. The world must be a better place for your presence. And the good that is in you must be spread to others.

I do not suppose that any of us here this day will be remembered a thousand years from now. I do not suppose that we will be remembered a century from now. 

But in this world so filled with problems, so constantly threatened by dark and evil challenges, you can and must rise above mediocrity, above indifference. You can become involved and speak with a strong voice for that which is right."

Surprise its your birthday, no surprise that I LOVE you.

A few weeks ago we celebrated Jeff's birthday.

Gifts are a tough one for me.

I like them if they're thoughtful.

I could not figure out a thoughtful gift.

A gift that declares-

I LOVE YOU!

 YOU'RE EVERYTHING TO ME!

 THERE IS NO ONE ELSE LIKE YOU!

 THE WORLD IS BETTER WITH YOU IN IT! 

What to buy to convey all that? 

Things rust.

They get stored and forgotten.

Although,

making things is a whole different story.

A photo book,

a book of all our love letters,

daily [I love you because] written for a year and then bound in a book.

All ideas I thought of a week before his bday.

oops.

So instead.

A surprise open house.

6:30-8:30

Invited 80 on FACEBOOK and some via email.

His mom and I made his favorite desserts.

Cherry Cheesecake.

Lemon Lush.

Better than anything Chocolate Cake.

I also had a stash of his favorite frozen treats.

To make an excuse for my more than normal cleaning frenzy,

I explained that our good friend was coming to stay with us.

He bought it.
So we got ready for her arrival.
We even bought new kitchen chairs.
(The ones we had were cheap and kept breaking.)
At 6:30 he was building them in his Pajama pants.
The guests began arriving at 6:33.
"SURPIRSE!!  
100 people might be coming to our home tonight!"


It was amazing to have so many people help me 
show Jeff just home much he's loved. 
Half way through the party
I stuck some candles in a ice cream sandwich
(all the cakes were nearly gone).
We sang Happy Birthday.
And then I got all emotional and told everyone

 I LOVE YOU!

 YOU'RE EVERYTHING TO ME!

 THERE IS NO ONE ELSE LIKE YOU!

 THE WORLD IS BETTER WITH YOU IN IT!
I also shared how beautiful he makes me feel.
I can't remember what else I said.
I was shaking and crying.
My daughter heard me say it all,
so happy about that.

Wish I could have all our friends over every month.
 The tangibility of acceptance and love
is such a blessing from friends and family.
Relationships are really the richest part of life.
My marriage is one my riches.
My husband is a gem. 
Pretty sure he knows it.

Note to self.
Have my camera around my neck and
take way MORE pictures.
Jeff's dad got a few for me.

 

My worth.

 I was under the weather today.I'm not feeling horrible,but I'm not 100%.Feeling really lazy and tired.I think tomorrow I'll go for a walk-jog.I need to get moving again.I spent most of the day in bed.I did some research on starting up my own business.Photography business.Is it for me?Am I afraid to fail?Am I good enough to charge for my hobby?Will people like me?I laid in bed.Mascara smeared.Room a mess.House a mess.Didn't do much at all today.I have a tough time feeling good about me,whenmy to do list isn't touched by day's end,Jeff walks in the door and I look like I just woke up.I've always felt like my worth is attached,to my accomplishments.I shouldn't.I try not to.But sometimes I do.Being.Doing.Becoming.There is work to do.Am I enough.Don't compare to that girl on that blog.Don't compare to the girl at church.Don't compare to the girl in line. Who am I?What is important to me?What makes me smile?What makes me cry?I am unique.Think about why I'm me.I won't find me,when the list is done,on Pinterest,or on any .com.How do I stand alonein my own skinhappy, content,comfortable? Faith!Faith in God.He's more than me.He's more than all the stuff.A foundation.Build my life on that.Earnest study,understanding,prayingpondering.Trying,repenting.Doing His will.Not mine.
 

 ♥

Creating a friendship.

Whitney's duck. Picture taken by her big brother.

 Yesterday was awesome.A friendship is stronger.I LOVED the deep conversation.I LOVED the sincere laughter.I LOVED an honest response.I LOVED the sense of belonging that comes with new understanding and commonality.Creating a friendship,like drawing on a page.Where the page was once blank,there is a new creation.A relationship,that enlightens that brings joy.I didn't want to say goodbye.She spoke to my heart.I understand her. Thank you my friend.
    ♥

Friend Love.

I haven't blogged much lately,

but I want to. 

I've made many friends here.

Marilyn.

Picture from her blog

Sweetheart.

She's the reason I fell

even more in love 

with music.
She's my dear friend.

She's a keeper.

She just shared some thoughts here,

and I agree.

Blogging has evolved and I've 

thought about where I stand.

I want to blog

to have a voice,

to relate to others in the world, 

to share what I believe.

I have another friend.

Elizabeth.

One of my very favorite pictures from her blog.

Another sweetheart.

If you want down to earth,

Emotions,

A girl with heart.

Go here.

 Elizabeth and I have to meet up soon.I LOVE her. She's been writing tons lately.So so happy about that. So here's to 2 beautiful woman.They inspire me,  and put a bounce in my step. 


  ♥

on the way home

 I was in a rush to get home.

Get dinner on the table.

Finish homework.

I saw the light in the trees.

I pulled over, grabbed my camera.

"Abby! skip down the sidewalk."

 ♥

His first kiss

 Riverfront Park

Farris Wheel ride with my son.

 

 

"Do you know what people do on Farris Wheel rides?" "NO". "They kiss."
He smirked.
"You should give me a kiss, it's tradition."
He puckered up,got me on the cheek.
I took a picture.

......
Last night I tucked him in.We talked about kissing.He's nearly 10.Tomorrow he'll be nearly 16.I've taught him that he'll want to kiss a girl.I've taught him about sex.Someday,it will fill his thoughts.How can it not.To think otherwise is naive.Posters at the mall,movies,magazines in the grocery line,a picture at some boys' house.An image online.Peers who share too much. I reminded him  the feelings,they are wonderful.God given.With them he can have a family.With them he will have the love of his life.But,at 11,12,13,14,15,16,17,     18......if he kisses a girl,and its not the kind of kiss he'd give his mama,it will be difficult to keep those feelings under control.Especially if she kisses his ear,or his neck.Its too sensitive there.He looks a bit embarrassed.I feel comfortable.He needs to be taught.I was 15 once.I sat in car and gave a kiss goodnight.You might think, 10????!!!I started when he was 8.His sex eduction will be taught in the loving arms of his mother.Teach him before he's in the middle of it.Teach him its normal.Teach him how to control this power.Teach him a peck on the cheek is tender.Teach him to respect.Teach him lust vs. love.Teach him to understand what happiness will be his if he waits for the Girl.The girl he will marry and love forever.Teach him the girls he dates should have his standards. Teach him he may be the only boy in control.Teach him to be strong no matter what anyone says or does.Teach him to respect a girl's family. Teach him to shake a father's hand with a firm hand and look him in the eye.Teach.Teach.Teach.Care.Think.Remember.My privilege.My responsibility.
His little sister just turned 8.Next month she will sit and learn from her parents.I will sit her on my lap.I will hold her in my arms.I will pray with her.I will teach her about love.I will teach her about wonderful desires. Desires given by God,For love For family.Its his plan.It works when we obey,when we control.Joy is the result.Joy that will radiate love and self-respect.
♥

How I love before and afters and great finds!!!

Living on one income with four kids.

I don't get to buy straight out of Pottery Barn Magazine.
Someday, I might.
But, oh, the inspiration I find in magazines, on the web, in other's homes.

Jeff's dream was to have a garage without a bunch of clutter.
So, I went to work the last couple weeks to rid one of the walls of my projects.

Here's some BEFORE AND AFTER love.

BEFORE

$8.00 @ a yard sale



AFTER


BEFORE
Bought this with a hutch top at a yard sale for $30
Painted it white.
Moved to new house and wanted to change things up a bit.
Put the hutch top, which wasn't attached up in my craftroom.


AFTER
Sofa table.




GREAT FINDS


When I found this beaded mirror I knew if would be perfect. It had lots of hangy things on it that made it look old. I cut them off and then brought the mirror in to my front room to see how it could fit in with what I already have. I found the clock for $.50.


When I saw this circle hangy thing I snatched it right away. $2. I pictured it on the wall or as part of a table setting. My friend Linda was over for my birthday and I showed it to her. She told me it was for hanging stockings. Not a my house!!
The lamp and shade I bought last weekend at yard sales.
The lamp-$2
The shade- wait for it.......




$1!!!!

10 years ago I didn't think yard sales and thrift stores were for me, but time and time again, I find that somebody else's junk is almost always my treasure.
Especially with imagination and some spray paint!!!!!


♥

This week, motherhood is sweet.

Its amazing what I can accomplish when I focus.
Especially when I focus on Christ, my spiritual strength, my marriage, my kids.
My mind is flooded with ideas, ways to correct, inspiration.
I feel so much better than I did last week.
My kids are responding to a much happier mom.


I was in my room on my knees this morning. I heard little feet.
I didn't know who it was until her little voice said "Mom".
I looked up from my prayer and told her simply and sweetly, "I'm talking to Heavenly Father, can you hold on a sec."
She's almost always the first one into my room begging for breakfast.
That's what I was expecting to hear about when I finished.
And then, words that melt my heart.
"Mom, what can I do for you"?
Ethan begged me to take him shopping last night.
He discovered that his piggy bank was loaded with enough $$$ to buy himself a Bakugan.
The house was a bit disorderly (big fat pig pen mess!)
He saw my stress, knew that if he "scratched my back, I'd scratch his."
That boy put his whole heart into serving me last night, even when I released him from any duty he continued to help.
He gave me a big fat hug, told me he wanted to keep helping.
Told me he loved me very much.
It made me cry.
I want more.


Sunday, an idea.
A Peacemaker Party 6:00
All Peacemakers were invited to attend.
Worked like a charm!
Caramel Popcorn Planning Summer Fun
Crazy Uno Game- kids had to say something nice every time they played a card.

♥

Dissecting my feelings

Still doing better.

Walked outside this morning to look for the bus while the boys shoveled their cereal. (We all woke up kind of late this morning.)

The air smelled like I always remember it smelling when the school year is drawing to an end.

SUMMER

The kids are doing fun activities at school. I always loved Field Day- eating outside and throwing a softball the farthest. I had a really good arm.

Today-
I'm working on planting some flowers, having a picnic with the girls, and doing bills while listening to a parenting CD.

Tonight-
Eat dinner outside- maybe with some soft music and candles. I'm usually not too frilly with my family dinner time but I feel like doing something different tonight.

I'd like to read my book again, but out on the back porch. I walked out there last night after the kids were all in bed and I was heading to my bed, it looked so inviting. Just sit on my rocker and CHILL, REFLECT, and PAT MYSELF ON THE BACK.

This week-
Planning Summer.
Dissecting my feelings. Finding out that I'm willing to spend time on things I can control. I also hate to fail. Somehow its programed in my head that I can't.
So combine these feelings with Motherhood and guess what? It equals disaster on my heart. No wonder I want to work on things that I'm good at and spend time on everything else.

If you asked me to go play a game of tennis I would decline. I have NO idea how to play it. The only thing I know about tennis is something about LOVE? That's it.

If you ask me how to Parent. Yikes. I've read so many books, but in the thick of it, I react and rely on my emotions to dictate action.
Motherhood can not be calculated or controlled because every minute of every day is different. Most of time I wish I had a Linda Eyre at my house coaching me!!! Guess what though? I do have coach. I have the Spirit. Right? And if I cultivate that Spirit in my life I'll be more successful. And Prayer is a direct line to the ultimate coach.
(Do I have that faith? Is that why I've been so sporadic with my spiritual care since I held my first baby in my arms.?)
I'll admit- I am not consistent in this area of my life. I try for a couple of weeks and then I fizzle. Yet, I always expect that I should be able to run my life better than I do. That's like running my car on empty. Doesn't work.

I cannot control my kids. But if I do what I can to have that Spirit and do my best to be as Christlike as I can then eventually there will be a difference. If not now, later. When they're grown they will remember what it was like to mothered by me. Just like I remember my mom.

So, an experiment. (on his word)

Strive for the spirit EVERY day this summer. I'll have every one of my kids with me most of the time. More than ever I need those whispers- do this, do that.
Mother them, try more, don't worry about failing, don't think that my efforts are a waste of my time, teach them to work and serve. REFOCUS.

I can make my home beautiful this summer- painting, decorating.

OR

I can make my family beautiful. Its my choice.
I know I have more control with my home- but I'm not that business. My first priority is my family.

Everyone says they grow up fast. Maybe I should start to listen to that. Soon enough Abby will be in school and then I know me. The feelings of regret will settle in my heart.
I hate regret.
Its damning.
I hate shoulda's and coulda's.

I can't be afraid to fail motherhood.
If I spent more of my time and energy on how to deal with some of our family issues as much as I spend time on- paint colors, Blogging, my makeup, Facebook; I'll probably get better at it.

I'll feel more at peace when I hit my pillow at night.

I'll cut myself some slack, but I KNOW me, and I know what I think about most of my day.
That's why I've been so grumpy. The best part of me is saying, "Kim! Wake up!! Remember what is most important. Remember how you felt when your mom died. Remember that your relationship with your Savior, your husband and with your kids is most important. Do that first and every thing will be fine." DO THAT FIRST.

A couple more thoughts and then I've got to go wrestle with my girls.

My mom gave me a book- All the Time You Need: Mary Ellen Edmunds. I found it the other day. In the inside cover it says,
" Dearest Kim,
You are a wonderful mother to four beautiful children and I'm so very happy that you chose to be a mom in every sense of the word. I'm sure your Heavenly Parents are also pleased. Hang in there! Your childrens' lives will be your reward.
Love you much,
Mom"

And then inside the book something that pierced me.
Mary Ellens says,

"What are the things in your life to which you are intensely devoted and dedicated? What are the things you spend your time on- not just the amount of time, but your BEST time? Your children? The scriptures? Pondering? Exercising? Eating? A book club? Visiting? Attending the temple? Reading?

Lets say you had to drop four things from your life to free up some time. What would you drop? And how would you decide? For what would you drop everything? Your answers would reveal much about your priorities."

If I sat down and answered those questions honestly I would see that there was a need for improvement.


♥

There is Love

I've been sorting through a box of memories...

...Old cards from mom
...Love letters from Jeff
...High School ASB cards
...Devon's first baby outfit
...My wedding dress

I found a little music stand that sat on my bridal shower cake. It holds a picture of Jeff and I and plays this pretty song.

THERE IS LOVE (Paul Stookey)

He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts.
Rest assured this troubadour is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits here has caused Him to remain,
for whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name,
There is love. There is love.

Oh, a man shall leave his mother, and a woman leave her home.
They will travel on to where the two will be as one.
As it was in the beginning, is now until the end,
woman draws her life from man
and gives it back again and there is love.
Oh, there's love.

Well then what's to be the reason for becoming man and wife?
Is it love that brings you here or love that brings you life?
For is loving is the answer then who's the giving for?
Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?
Oh, there's love. There is love.

He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts.
Rest assured this troubadour is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits here has caused Him to remain
for whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
there is love. Oh, there is love.

I've always loved this song.

I gifted the trinket to my oldest daughter yesterday. The perpetual wind up and twinkles of this song have brought reflection.

Sometimes I feel tangled up in my emotions. I think too much. Mostly about my faults. I think this is good, but sometimes its bad. Especially when it makes me freeze up and feel down. If I lived all by myself I don't think I'd ever really see myself. Being a wife and a mother is so hard. I know I contribute to the difficulty I often feel in these roles. I wish away some of the difficult moments but I know they make me grow.

When you're married, your spouse gets to see the faults you keep pretty well hidden from the rest of the world. I have spats and disagreements with the one person that's very aware of my weaknesses.
The kind that keep us on the opposite sides of our king size bed.
I fume.
He falls asleep.
In the middle of the night we find each other in the middle, snuggle close and apologize.
With some needed sleep, we both remember that we both were wrong in our own little ways.

Last night there was no quarrel. Only sweet dream wishes and kisses.

I love that time right before the Sand Man comes. When my body is still and I feel like I might fade into my sheets.
Sometimes Jeff has is hands in my hair. That makes for Zzzzzz in seconds.
Last night I couldn't think of one of his faults while I lay there in those moments. There was only images of his best. He is so good. He makes me beautiful when I don't feel it myself. His righteousness is a foundation in our lives.

His breath lingered and it starting lulling me to sleep. I shed a tear in my half asleep state and whispered "You're a good man."
"I love you- so much."


There is Love


♥

My thoughts about "50 creative ways to make your blog POPULAR"

So, I was searching google yesterday for some much needed help in making my blog wider. I opened my google home page and typed in "How to make my blog... and as I typed away, google was helping me along because there were prompts I could pick from below the subject I was trying to search. I looked below while I was typing to see if I could see "wider" but it wasn't there. Guess what was? Right below, first in line was, "How to make your blog popular"
And because I'm curious I clicked away and found numerous links on the subject. One being
"50 creative ways to make your blog POPULAR". So, what did I do? I clicked it of coarse,

(I was one of those girls in High school that tried to find the secret to being popular. I told the YW last week that I thought everyone would like me if I was prettier, drove a Toyota 4runner, had blond hair, and wore the best clothes in school. I also wanted to be Homecoming Queen and thought that it would be ultimate highlight to my high school experience and that somehow it would make me happy.)

but first I thought about what might be some of their suggestions. I was happily surprised to see that posing nude wasn't one of them.

This week I finally started to read Pioneer Woman. I don't know how its humanly possible to do as much as she seems to do but I must say that she has quite the following. I, myself, started reading her blog to find out more about photography since I have this new camera and need some guidance in how to use the thing; its a wonderful gadget but I wish a brain came in the packaging. And then there's Nie and her sister, CJane and their whole family, and Design Mom, and a host of other bloggers that have received celebrity status. We bloggers know who they are and when we speak to blog muggles about Nie and the plane crash and we break into tears it may seem a bit strange to some. I've known about a lot of these popular blogs for awhile but only just recently decided to become a follower. I, for some reason tend to wait awhile so I can form my own opinion. Twilight's a good example. I bought the book and it sat on my shelf while all the histaria went on, then I read it. Same thing with the movie. I finally went and saw it a couple of weeks ago. *If you don't want to be offended don't read the next couple of sentences. I didn't like Twilight that much. It was a fun read but it wasn't enough for me to finish the last book. Now, "These Is My Words" is a GOOD book and so is "Jane Eyre" my all time favorite. I just didn't dig the whole vampire thing and Bella isn't someone I want my daughters to assimilate with .

There's a good reason why some of these everyday women became popular. I've tried to keep my distance but to no avail, I've been dazzled by them and for food reasons. They ARE amazing, loving, talented women, and they're real. At first, back in Nov. '06 I used to read and compare but while blogging and growing up especially in the last year ( that tends to happen when you have to say goodbye to your mom as you watch her die) I've realized how important is to discover Kim and develop what talents I have. I wish I would've learned this 15 years ago but I suppose I can teach my children so they don't try to wish their high school years away trying be something other then themselves. I've always wanted to feel important and admired, I suppose that's one of the reason's I blog, if stardom happens I'd like it but if it doesn't I'm okay with that too.

Last week I talked to the girls in YW. I was asked to come in a speak to them about Finding Joy in your Divine Potential. The following is what I told them:

I was impressed to share my silliness in high school and asked the girls if you knew me and you had a magic wand and a spell that could bring me unbelievable Joy what would you give me? Would you grant me all the things that I wanted at the time? Would that bring me Joy? What brings us joy? When I get sucked into things that bring temporary happiness, I like to imagine myself in the middle of the aftermath of a horrible storm. Stripped of clothes, my fancy house, my black boots that I think make me look pretty cute, makeup, and I can't do anything that I normally do, I'm essentially left with nothing. Who would I be? What I do and what I have does not define me. I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father. There is so much in this heart of mine I haven't discovered yet. I might just discover them as I type away on my own little piece of cyberspace. I feel pretty blessed with those of you that think I'm pretty swell without a list of blogging awards on my sidebar. I think you're pretty swell too. I'd crown all of you with you're very own tiaras if I could. And to satisfy your curiosity here is the list I found via Blog oh Blog.
I like #50.

1. Start a controversy. Just remember not to cross the line.
2. Start a contest. Make sure to end it too.
3. Give away free goodies. People love them.
4. Write about other bloggers to interest their visitors to read your blog. Keep it positive.
5. Dress up your blog often (By dress-up I mean tweaking the design)
6. Interview other bloggers and post the interview.
7. Write about your personal life sometimes.
8. Ask questions to your visitors.
9. Share some secrets.
10. Celebrate your birthday with your visitors. Think of innovative ways for doing this.
11. Celebrate your blog’s birthday too.
12. Write something funny or disgusting. (Don’t make it a habit)
13. Make a bumper sticker with your blog’s name and stick it on your car. (Just make sure you drive often)
14. Write an e-book and distribute it to your visitors for free.
15. Introduce a commission based affiliate program.
16. Tell your visitors about your latest fad or obsession.
17. Post interesting pictures of your pets.
18. Congratulate the top commentators occasionally.
19. Encourage sharing of opinions.
20. Donate for a cause or become a volunteer for a non-profit organization. Ask your visitors to join you.
21. Put your blog’s ad in the local newspaper or the yellow pages.
22. Hold blog competitions.
23. Create polls.
24. Hold an auction and let people bid for something useful (For example, advertising space on your blog).
25. Write about your blog achievements.
26. Share your hopes and aspirations about your blog.
27. Start an award distribution system.
28. Make contact with your local visitors and hold a get-together or a bloggers’ meet.
29. Start a blog comic strip.
30. Dig up some old article that you wrote on your blog which became famous and start a discussion.
31. Try and get a photograph clicked with a real celebrity and post it on your blog. (Hold on Tiger..don’t rush to that Photoshop button!)
32. Post videos that will help your visitors learn something new. Also submit them to video sharing websites like YouTube.com.
33. Write about your hobbies and interests. (For example, if you like cooking, post a new recipe)
34. Post about one of the weirdest thing that you ever did.
35. Get featured in a print magazine.
36. Buy a paid review from any famous blogger(s).
37. Brand your blog with a catch phrase along with a logo.
38. Distribute T-shirts or merchandise with your blog name on it.
39. Join Yahoo! Answers and put a link on your website to your answers.
40. Keep a track of websites that pick up your articles or press releases. Offer them exclusive news or content.
41. Do surveys and publish the results to your visitors.
42. Build tools that your visitors might find use for.
43. Start a newsletter.
44. Podcasting is another good way to make your blog popular.
45. Publicize your blog to your friends and relatives and let them do some work for you.
46. Be active in Social Bookmarking websites.
47. Share Link Love and you will get it back.
48. People like to read about Web 2.0. Write about it.
49. Write about something that’s already famous.
50. Last but not the least, be yourself.





Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

♥

Big plans

I woke up early with Jeff this morning, made his lunch, snuggled him on the couch, and kissed him off to work. I thought for a second that I might stay up and get something done, but my soft cozy bed was calling my name so I succumbed. I didn't fall asleep right away, I said my prayers like a good girl and then I decided to skim through a Pottery Barn Organizing Book. That got my brain working. I'm excited for a clean slate, a new start. I want to be organized in our house. I have grand plans. I'm realistic though and know that once me move in life will get busy. So right now I'm trying to make a plan. These are part of the plan. Aren't they pertty? I'm going to use them in my pantry.

And I have to say that this linen closet almost moves me to tears.

I'll also be on the lookout for one of these. I think it will work swell for keeping toys organized in the rec room.

♥