I get up everyday to a job that I'll never be able to quit.

I look at my children and can't believe they are thriving despite my shortcomings.

Today as I woke them, fed them, and fixed their hair I thought about all the physical needs that I attend to for their sake.

Its important that my little girl looks like she belongs to somebody so I do her hair, usually while she protests.

Its important for them to be clean and dressed in a clothes without holes and stains.  

All through the day we tend to physical needs and some days are are full of them!!

This leads me into what I've been thinking about it.


I give great attention to all things physical, in fact some days I think I give too much attention to them. I feel like there's a HUGE imbalance. Too much physical, and not enough spiritual. 


My kids run out to catch the bus.  They're all ready-lunches made, backpacks with permission slips signed, homework usually done, hair done, faces clean.  

Then they come home- soccer practice, homework, chores.

The thing is, its how our world works.  The inner man is not seen.  We see only the clothes, the cars, the homes.  We judge a man, a child, by his stuff.  Its shallow, and I don't like it, but I feed into it. 

I feed into it because, honestly, it feeds my pride.  If my child is dressed to the nines, it makes me look like I have my act together.  


Mom's need a payoff. 

So we spend a bunch of time tending to shallow stuff.  


This morning my kids ran out to catch the bus, anyone that saw them would think they looked ready for school.  

Mostly, they were.


But I knew different.

I hadn't prayed with them.

I wish that it was easier to spend more time on the things that really mean something.  

I think I'm beginning to understand other forms of religion.
Some put aside all worldliness.  






Its no small feat to  put off pride and be humble.  


To find fulfillment in things that will not bring the attention of men is difficult for me.




As you look at the remainder of the pictures on this post, you will my sweet girl.  She is spunky and keeps me on my toes. 
Her character and personality are what I love most about her. 

I could take pictures of her all day long and post them but you can't see her, not really. 

I hope my kids are learning the worth of a soul.

I hope they feel confident without wearing all the right things.


Cause I'm still working on it.

♥



August 2010



 When I pray with my sweet Whitney at night,I teach.
Prompting her with words.{"Please help me to find and marry a man like my daddy someday. A good man who will love me and help me return to Thee."}
In one year she will be 8.She will sit on my lap and look at the temple.Her dad and I will teach her more.   The same discussion that her big brothers had but a little different.She knows it's coming. Her special dinner date and night out with mom and dad.She's knows it's about something beautiful, special, awesome. Right now...We talk about beauty.We talk about love.We sing "I Love to See the Temple" in our prettiest singing voice.I'm prepping her. I can't wait.  ♥

Happy Day Hallelujah!

On January 8th, almost 11 months of waiting, our house went under contract. Finally! What a journey it has been to fix this little 40's built home into something marketable. When we first bought this house I was the mother of 2 boys and I'd been married for 2 1/2 years. Our requirements? Very simple. We wanted space, trees, a garage, a unfinished basement, and a big kitchen. Jeff was only making $12 and hour. Walk in closets weren't not in the works for awhile. I saw potential for beauty within the walls of this house but I didn't know the first things about decorating or really any idea what I really liked. Its been thrilling to learn how much I love create and make old things into new things.I LOVE to decorate and put things together on a low budget, while making every thing look expensive. Together Jeff and I have turned this house into a home that we're very proud of. I've learned a lot about myself in the almost 7 years that we've lived here. A few more things I've learned...

• to spend way less than we make.
• how to wire a switch.
• how to redo a room in one weekend.
• how to make an ugly room my favorite one in the house.
• to simplify and declutter.
• I can live without television. There's so much more I want to spend my time on.
• how to be frugal.
  
• what to do without a coat closet.
• how to share an itty bitty closet with my husband.
  
• how to cover graffiti.
• how to love my neighbors.
• how to sell a home in an ugly neighborhood.
• how to clean my whole house in a 1/2 hour.
• how to be patient when things don't go my way.
  
• how to lay on the couch 10 months pregnant and let my mom and friend paint my nursery.
• how a sump pump works.
  
• that I can't wait to have a self-propelled lawn mower.
• that I CAN do hard things.
• that I DON'T like too much stuff. Because then I spend all my time trying to manage it.
• I love to be organized but I need to find a way to be better at it.
• how things don't always work out the way you plan.
  
• that my husband is the studliest, smartest, most talented man I've ever known.
• to realize that my timing isn't always the Lord's timing.
• that spray paint is the best thing ever invented.
  

So two days after we got our house under contract we found our NEW home. As soon as I walked into it I KNEW that I wanted it. We found it the day it was listed and decided after a day of number crunching and praying that we would put an offer on it for $10,000 less than what they were asking, also contingent on the closing of our home. We put $2,000 down in earnest money and waited for our agent to make the offer. On the way to make the offer my agent called to let me know that there were several other people looking that day as well as the next and warned me that if we didn't offer full price we could get bumped.

We ended up offering full price contingent on the closing of our home. The seller didn't like that we were out of the deal if our house didn't close so she didn't except the offer with the contingency. We then had to decide if we wanted the house enough to lose our $2000 if our own house didn't go through. Long story short. Everything is working out. We took off the contingency and decided to take a leap of faith that everything with our house would work out. There is a couple of contingencies on our home and it was kind of scary to make a decision. I was a bundle of nerves for 4 days straight. The offer was finally accepted on Wednesday and then I decided that I needed to look into financing while the interest rates were in the 4%'s. On Friday, after another crazy two days of calling and comparing we signed a loan. If you would have seen me that day I would given you a big fat hug! I was the happiest woman alive. In fact we went over to our agent's office (who is quickly becoming on of my closest friends) to sign some papers and I completely broke down into tears because of the intensity of joy I was feeling. I felt totally overwhelmed with how everything was turning out for us. In fact, our Realtor wasn't even going to show us the house because we it was a tad over our price range, but from the moment we fell in love with it, everything has fallen into place. Since I'm a big Dave Ramsey fan and I wanted to follow everything he's suggested, I wanted to make sure that our payment would be 23-25% of our monthly income.

I really feel like the windows of Heaven have been opened on my life. Its been a heart wrenching year, mostly because of my mom's death. At times I felt like our efforts were in vain. Every time we showed the house with no results I tried to be patient. I worked really hard and studied how to stage a home and wanted so badly to be out of this house 10 months and 29 days ago, but if it would've happened when I thought it should've happened none of this would be happening, especially locking in such a low interest rate.
I'm so excited for our closing day, February 24th. I lie in bed at night and dream of our house. I can't wait to make it my own. I can't wait to pull my car into my first garage and use a garage door opener. I can't wait to cook in my kitchen and soak in my garden tub. I can't wait to put coats in a coat closet, and hang my clothes in my very first walk in closet. I can't wait to sit on my deck and watch the kids play on in our yard on the Coscto swing set included with the house!! I can't believe I can own a home like this, it hasn't been easy for us, but still I feel so blessed because I know that there's so many people in the world that barely have a front door. I'm thankful that we started out in our little 40's house. I learned a lot.

Floor plan






♥

Sharing the gospel with my neighbor

I've been trying to sell my house longer than I thought I would be. Maybe this is one of the reasons I'm still here.



I saw my neighbor crying one day as we picked our kids up from school. She usually waves and seems to be a very happy person. When I saw her the spirit whispered to check on her and ask if she was okay. I felt silly because I really don't know her and felt like maybe it was really none of my business. I went over to her house anyway, after I dropped off the kids, and ended up inviting her to go to church with me!! That's not something I regularly do. I should though. I have this treasure that I know is true, I should share it more often. She told me no but a relative of hers that's in our ward asked her a couple of days later and she agreed.
Sunday morning I called to see if she needed anything and invited her over for dinner after church. She couldn't do dinner but told me she would meet me at the church!!! She came to sacrament and left afterwards because her kids were tired and hungry.


This is the letter I'm giving to her today.

Dear Brigitte,

I would like to invite you to come with me to a dinner and World Wide broadcast on Saturday the 27th at 5:30 pm. It is for the women of my church. We eat as a group and then listen to women speak on matters of the heart- ways to be happier, be more like the Savior and so on. (There is a sample of what you would hear enclosed.) It's always a treat for me to go; I leave the kids home with their dad and get to be around women that I love as well as be inspired. Anyway, I could help you get a good and responsible babysitter if you'd like to come.

You've been on my mind a lot lately. I want to share with you some of my thoughts. My mother was a beautiful, kind woman. She lived her life in a Christ like way. She served all those around her and reached out in her own quiet way to neighbors, family, and friends.

After she died, I felt closer to my Heavenly Father than ever before. In my heart I have wondered how I could be a better friend, sister, mother, and neighbor-in ways that really matter. I worry about so many things that take up so much time that I don't allow time to serve and reach out to many people. I guess I get "wrapped up in my own little world."

Since I was a little girl I've been taught that I have a Father in Heaven. He loves me like my father on earth loves me, but with a more perfect love of course. I lived with Him before I was born. He knows me; he knows all I'm capable of. I know that we on this earth are brothers and sisters. I am his daughter and so are you. I believe this with all of my heart.

My faith is strong. I love the gospel of Jesus Christ. If I didn't know what I know my life would be empty and without purpose. In my life I count so many blessings because of the way I live and believe. I feel that I have a treasure in my life, this gospel. It's dear to my heart and very difficult to share with others, because it's who I am and I fear the rejection of something I love and hold so dear. I hope that I have not come across as pushy. The day I saw you crying, I wondered about you, about your life, your joys, your heartaches. I wondered if you have peace in your heart and really believe in something much bigger and better than what we have here. Do you know that we can be with our families forever?

You've always been so friendly to me, you and smile and wave and say hi. When you drove by and you were in tears I felt and heard a prompting to do what my mother would've done. Reach out and forget my own worries. As we work our way through life our Father in Heaven is very aware of us. He has the power to fix all of our heartaches, but then we wouldn't need him. He hopes that we feel His love through our neighbors, sisters, children, parents, friends...

I felt loved by Him more than ever while my mom was dying and afterwords as well. I continue to feel His love as I go to Him in prayer and try to do as he would have me do. I hope you feel His love through me and see that I am sincere in sharing something so precious to me. Thank you for coming to church, you were very brave to do something different and you are a very good mother. I can see how much you love your children. It is not any easy job, especially when you are doing it all by yourself. I think you are a courageous woman to be so far away from your home in Germany, working hard for your family, and being a good mother to your children. I hope that my friendship can be like a little piece of home to you.

Love,

Your friend Kim

I enclosed:

Mothers Who Know by Julie B. Beck