Little boys' hearts

My little boys' hearts
don't need nintendo ds's
they need bike rides at the State Patrol with their dad.

My little boys' hearts
don't need hours of TV,
they need to build model airplanes with their dad.

My little boys' hearts
should never hear their dad say bad things to their mom,
their dad doesn't.

My little boys' hearts
should never hear their dad swear, be dishonest, or be crude,
their daddy would never.

My little boys' hearts
needed some time with just dad,
so he took them on an overnight hike in the mountains.


My little boys' hearts
will be big boy hearts someday.

I pray
My little boys' hearts
will be like their daddy's heart.

I LOVE their daddy.
His heart.
His mind.
His strong arms.
He's a good man.

He built a model airplane with our ten year old boy.
I teared up as I watched them work together.
I thought about the feelings that were in my little boy's heart.
The time, the feelings, what it means to do something together.
Jeff is a man with a little boy heart.


November 21st 1998
Portland Temple
11 years
My little girl heart
married the right kind of man for everything I need.
And its made all the difference.



♥

Impulse buy

I was at Costco yesterday and bought one of these beauts!
A Vita-Mix.
Sadly I never got to make a strawberry smoothie with squash, carrots and
cabbage.
That's what sold me.
I've had my eye on one for some time now.

With Christmas on the way, and a new camera purchase in the near future she had to go back today.
I'm going to find her again in the spring.

♥

Turn Back Tuesday

5 years ago.

3 kid lets.

They were so little.

So adorable.

Tonight, we're going to do this with the leaves we find when we go on a walk.
I love fall.
It is my favorite season, hands down.

Lately I've been snuggling my kids a lot.
They love stories about themselves.
They like stories about me too.
Last night it was fun to share their birth stories.
My oldest was surprised to learn that he was born a month early.

Its funny.
Some days I want motherhood to speed by.
Other days I find I'm basking in every moment.
I find when I'm not as selfish that the basking occurs.
Ya Think??

I've enjoyed a few deep, heart felt talks over the past few weeks when I've tucked my boys in bed.
I was itching to race downstairs so I could enjoy my time.
My oldest asked me a question I couldn't brush off.
It was deep.
Something about Heavenly Father.

They asked more questions and we talked.
I shared my deep convictions- my testimony of God, of Jesus Christ.
3 different times.
I tickled their backs.
I told them with tears in my eyes how bad I wish for them to be extraordinary.
Like super heroes.

1 hour later.
I felt good.
Like I was a super mom.
I've been a mother for almost 10 years now.
Somethings I'm getting pretty good at.
Laundry,
Sweeping,
Bossing.
Taking time to teach deep meaningful stuff every moment I can find- NOT so good at.
Monday night is not enough.
Sunday is not enough.
They have to know what I feel in my heart.
About God.
About them.
About my love for their dad.
So they'll feel it in theirs.



This morning all four kids snuggled up in my bed while I woke my sleepy head.
I read from the scriptures.
We prayed together.
I won't get everything done today.
But it feels so good to have done that one thing.
Its not tradition yet, but I hope it will be soon.

Seasons change.
And we can too.
I'm so glad.


♥

To be adored...

...in an email,

I don't want to click delete.

He sent it September 3rd.

He knows things about me that aren't really all that pretty.

Yet,

he still thinks I'm beautiful.

Hey Beautiful,

I was going to email earlier but was a little busy so decided to wait. I was going to cuz someone asked if the pic of you on the computer was my wife. They said you were beautiful. (this is where I almost emailed you. Then after that and before now someone else said the same thing. I also had the same comment yesterday. There were lots of comments when I first put it on too. One of the people today asked me how I managed to marry you. I told them I was a good salesman. Thanks for being my beautiful wife.

I'm

Sick
Sad
Mad
Crying
Angry
Livid

My camera was stolen. I'll talk about it when I get home. I wish so bad that it was sitting next to me. I've never felt like this before. I'm just so sad. My hobbie is gone. I loved that camera more than anything I've ever owned. The stupid thieves stole my two new lenses too. I've screamed, I've cried, it hurts sooo bad.
♥

I've been

Happy!!!


Hawaii in 10 days.
Lots of blessings.
Children having fun at school.
Love from Jeff.
Eternal perspective.
Gratitude.
Photography.

♥

Me, Resolving.

“Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.”
Eleanor Roosevelt



This is my new motto.
I prefer to talk about deep things.
But sometimes I stoop down to more meager levels of communication.

The other day I was talking about someone.
Hours later, I was sick.

I thought about how to take back what I had done.

A novel idea.
Instead of talking about this person
her problems
her faults
I should pray for her.
Been taught that novel idea all my life.
I think its about time I do it.



♥

Back to School

The boys are ready.

New shoes.
New clothes.
Haircuts by mom.
They made school year goals.
Learned how to make a first good impression.
Their daddy gave them blessings.

I tucked the boys into bed last night, asked them what they thought about their blessings.
"I almost started to cry."

"Did you feel the Holy Ghost.?"

"Yeah, a lot."

He gave me a blessing too.
Their daddy was crying.
It was beautiful.
Just what I needed to hear.
I love my boys.
and
I
REALLY
LOVE
their Daddy.

♥

Decor Inspiration!

I love this room.
I found the picture here.




♥

My girls...

...played with me last weekend.
The boys went on an overnight backpackiing trip.
The girls and I made a list of what we wanted to do.

The duck pond.
The river.
Yard Sales.
James and Linda.

I brought my camera along and took a ton of pictures.
They didn't like it all. Can you tell?
It was a beautiful day.
We laughed.
We played in the water.
We took our time.
(That's a trick for me.)

I'm in love with photography.
I love light.
I love eyes.
I love bokeh.
I love capturing my kids.
I love how happy I feel when I watch them through my lens.
They're pretty amazing little people.

♥

When the boys are away the girls will play

 

♥

TBT- mom

She died a year ago today.
My heart is healing.
Thanks to faith.
Thanks to Jeff.
...to my sisters.
...to my kids.

My kids watched "The Land Before Time".
I could hear Little Foot crying over his mother.
She died in the big earth shake.
I cried at the kitchen sink.

I walked into Penneys with my kids.
"This is where my mom took me school shopping."
The store smells just like it did 20 years ago.
The memories came flooding back.
I cried.

Sometimes I still think I can call her.
Sometimes I do.
I just talk out loud to her.
"Mom, what would you do?"
She's not far away.

She's part of me.
She's in my smile.
The way I talk.
The way I mother.

My cousin told me that I remind her of mom.
"Your presence is calming, just like Aunt Chris."
It is an honor to be like her.



♥

I wish...

...I could have a big, fat party with all the people I love once every month.

...Camera lenses were sold at the $1 store.

...Brownies had 0 calories.

...Jeff didn't have to go to work.


♥

Times to remember

Its that time again.
School shopping.
I was brave enough to take all four kids with me.
The school supplies are already done.
I hired a babysitter for that.
But, tennis shoes had to be fitted to 3 growing feet.
We were gone for 4 hours.
4
This usually doesn't go over very well.
Someone's always pretty tired.
Someone's always fighting.
Someone's always irritated.-Any guesses who?


This time was different.
When we were all done we headed to the car.

"How come you guys were so good today?

Whitney beams a smile my way and says,
"We love you mom!!!!
You're the best mom ever, except for Jesus' mom."

I laughed my head off.
Where do kids come up with these thoughts?
Mary.
Me.
I don't know about that.

I enjoyed my children that day.
They listened.
They obeyed.
They were kind.
I was patient.
I let them "smell the roses".
There was no rush.


I thanked them profusely.
Even teared up.
Big Surprise there.
Pulled them all close to me and gave them a big hug.
Asked them if they felt good about the day.
They were all smiles.

We're going out today.
I'll fill up their bellies,
offer 3 Popsicle to the those that are happy shoppers,
and pray that I have the same type of patience that seemed to be around Tuesday.


♥

Teaching Tithing

To the ♥ of a 7 year old boy,
who has mopped, swept, washed, and worked his way to $30,
is not easy.


"Do you remember that you need to pay tithing when you make money?"

"MOOOooom!!!?? (Big frown, tears pooling up) I need all my money to buy the Thunder Driller."


I didn't know exactly what to say.
I offered a little prayer in my heart.
We were in my room.
I sat on the bed, patted a spot beside me.
He loves to be close to his mama.
I tickled his back-something he REALLY loves.
I could already feel his mood start to change.
He softened a bit, his body relaxed.
He looked up at me with those deep brown eyes.


"I remember when I started paying tithing.
It was hard for me to give my money away.
Paying tithing is showing Heavenly Father that we love him more than stuff.
Stuff breaks, it doesn't last."

I told him my first experiences.
I changed sprinklers all summer.
I worked hard.
I told him my experiences now.
I had just written a check for tithing that morning.
I told him about it.
Told him I could use that money to buy all kinds of things.
Told him I wanted new camera lenses, BAD.

"When I pay the Lord first,
it makes me stronger.
Makes me a better person.
I feel less greedy, and Heavenly Father blesses me for it."

I started crying at this point.
I told him about the all the good things that have happened.
I told him that I know Heavenly Father and Jesus are real.
They were watching us at that very moment.

"When my mom died
I felt their love,
when her spirit was struggling to leave her body.
It was really hard to watch that.
But I knew.
I felt so much love, during a time when it hurt so much.
They're real.
They love us.
Can we prove we love them?
Yes!
We pay tithing.
We give up we want.
Its really hard.
But it makes us good.
Less greedy.
More giving.
When you give your tithing to the Bishop your heart will feel so good.
I promise."

"Okay mom, I want to pay my tithing."

I wrapped my arms around my sweet boy.
Kissed his face...lots.
We found a tithing envelope, a slip, a pen.
I helped him write it out.
He sealed it up with a big, wet lick.
I put it in my scriptures, next to mine.

"On Sunday we'll go up together and give our tithing to the Bishop."


Sunday came.
He saw it in my scripture pouch when I was searching for my gloss.

"Mom, there's my tithing.
I can pay it today."

His smile was the story of his heart.

I taught him again.
quietly
I made sure he knew not to hold it up and show everyone.
Giving is best when its done without show.

The big hand was on the 2.
It was time.
We made our way up to the man on the stand.
The Bishop.
My BIG little boy handed his portion over to the Lord.
He gave the Bishop a solid hand.
Shook it hard.

"That's one good hand shake", he says.

Teaching Tithing?
A good way to mold a sweet boy,
into a sweet man,
and
put one big tear on a mother's cheek.

♥