Happy couples kiss?

  He was in the garage.I was in the house.It was late,but he wanted to finish,and I did too.He had the radio to keep him company.John Tesh.Have you heard Intelligence for your Life?Jeff did,he kissed me this morning and shared his new intelligence. From John Tesh radio: If you’ve resolved to improve your marriage – start here: kiss your spouse. According to marriage therapist Dr. Laura Berman, when couples come into her office and say their relationship is tanking, the first thing she asks them is, “When was the last time you really kissed?” Most people will say, “We don’t.” Dr. Berman’s prescription for a better marriage – kiss your spouse every day and hold that kiss for at least 15 seconds. Know this – nine out of 10 people in happy marriages kiss their partner goodbye before work, and kiss them good night before bed. 
   I asked if he wanted me to count or if he was keeping track.(Its fun to smile while kissing by the way.)We decided we wouldn't have to count.Later I figured Yankee Doodle took about 15 seconds.I'll sing it in my head  if kissing ever becomes a chore.Ha. 
♥

Happy to be loved.

 

  Jeff has 10 days off!He has been fixing things and helping around the house. He got the kids up at 5:00,he took them exploring: to find owls, and bald eagles.
I love him! Our marriage isn't perfect.I'm late sometimes.He doesn't like that.We get irritated,stressed,overwhelmed.We don't deal with it the way we should. But,we work through it. We both want the same thing.We want to be friends.We want to be together for our kids.We want to retire together,go on missions.We want happiness, we want to be loved.Its awesome to be with someone,who wants what I want.
There's an article that is awesome.

 HereI just read it.We have some things to work on.January is a perfect time to start.
 ♥

Email love.

  Emails from my husband:
 6-30-11

I love you so much, cant wait for this weekend.

8-3-11

Just thinking about you.  Cant wait to see you.  I can't wait till I get to talk to you on our drive this weekend. I miss you so bad right now.

8-15-11 

 I feel close to you even though I am not.

9-19-11

I am so exited to be in love with you!

Jeff works an hour away and we can't talk much on the phone while he's at work.

Its sad.

But.

Email love is my one of my favorite things.
It's a sweet reminder that I'm not alone in this world.
When he declares love I feel 
strong,
beautiful,
brave,
happy.

♥

Ways to Serve Your Husband: Little Things to Make a Happy Marriage

"Serving a husband is a duty to be cherished. By diligently praying for him, performing thoughtful acts of kindness for him, and showing a deep seated respect for him, a marriage will pulsate with life."

Read more at Suite101: Ways to Serve Your Husband: Little Things to Make a Happy Marriagehttp://www.suite101.com/content/ways-to-serve-your-husband-a92063#ixzz1IlEzZY00

My thoughts this morning?
They're of Jeff.
He's an hour away.
Sitting at a desk.
He doesn't love what he does.
But he loves us, so he does what he doesn't love.
I'm thinking.
How I could serve him more?
What is he worried about?
Does he want to confide in me?
Is he happy?
He needs my praise, my admiration.
I become complaisant here and there.
I take him for granted.
He wakes up.
He comes home.
I kiss him.
I hurry.
I jabber about whatever.
Dinner.
Tuck in the kids.
More jabber.
Sleep.
We do it all again.

I love him.
Does he know?
Those words roll of my tongue easily now.
At first those words were more timid.
Now- so easy to say.
Now -not as easy to do.
Selfish gets in the way.
My wants,
my thoughts.
My faults,
my fears.
I will pray for him.
I will do for him.
I will smile for him.

I love him.

Summer plans winter temps

Jeff's birthday is the 28th.

Saturday is celebration day.

Actually the whole weekend we'll celebrate.

The plan was: have the kids farmed out,walk in with all my biking gear on, and declare my devotion to be his biking buddy for the day.

Right now there is a light sprinkle of snow on the ground.

The temp is Loooooow.

The plan now: Racquetball, car shopping,  

lunch out, more shopping, dinner, maybe more racquetball.

(Pictures taken on one of our dates in January)

Summer is calling my name.

These pictures are perfect reminders.

(pics taken August 2010 at "Movies on the River".

♥

Something sweet from the past

Jeff gave me a really sweet card.June 28, 1998For my birthday.
After all this time together you still know how to surprise me-you can still make laugh.And whenever you do, I realized againthat you've become more and more of what my life is all about.Its not that I'm less myself-you've never tried to change me.In fact, I'm more myself-because you and your love bring out the best in me.That's what real love means.Your voice on the phone makes me feel embraced.Your hand reaching for minemakes me feel positively cherished.Many times, when I merely glance your way, I feel the thrill of falling in love with you all over again.


♥

To be adored...

...in an email,

I don't want to click delete.

He sent it September 3rd.

He knows things about me that aren't really all that pretty.

Yet,

he still thinks I'm beautiful.

Hey Beautiful,

I was going to email earlier but was a little busy so decided to wait. I was going to cuz someone asked if the pic of you on the computer was my wife. They said you were beautiful. (this is where I almost emailed you. Then after that and before now someone else said the same thing. I also had the same comment yesterday. There were lots of comments when I first put it on too. One of the people today asked me how I managed to marry you. I told them I was a good salesman. Thanks for being my beautiful wife.

There is Love

I've been sorting through a box of memories...

...Old cards from mom
...Love letters from Jeff
...High School ASB cards
...Devon's first baby outfit
...My wedding dress

I found a little music stand that sat on my bridal shower cake. It holds a picture of Jeff and I and plays this pretty song.

THERE IS LOVE (Paul Stookey)

He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts.
Rest assured this troubadour is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits here has caused Him to remain,
for whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name,
There is love. There is love.

Oh, a man shall leave his mother, and a woman leave her home.
They will travel on to where the two will be as one.
As it was in the beginning, is now until the end,
woman draws her life from man
and gives it back again and there is love.
Oh, there's love.

Well then what's to be the reason for becoming man and wife?
Is it love that brings you here or love that brings you life?
For is loving is the answer then who's the giving for?
Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?
Oh, there's love. There is love.

He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts.
Rest assured this troubadour is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits here has caused Him to remain
for whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
there is love. Oh, there is love.

I've always loved this song.

I gifted the trinket to my oldest daughter yesterday. The perpetual wind up and twinkles of this song have brought reflection.

Sometimes I feel tangled up in my emotions. I think too much. Mostly about my faults. I think this is good, but sometimes its bad. Especially when it makes me freeze up and feel down. If I lived all by myself I don't think I'd ever really see myself. Being a wife and a mother is so hard. I know I contribute to the difficulty I often feel in these roles. I wish away some of the difficult moments but I know they make me grow.

When you're married, your spouse gets to see the faults you keep pretty well hidden from the rest of the world. I have spats and disagreements with the one person that's very aware of my weaknesses.
The kind that keep us on the opposite sides of our king size bed.
I fume.
He falls asleep.
In the middle of the night we find each other in the middle, snuggle close and apologize.
With some needed sleep, we both remember that we both were wrong in our own little ways.

Last night there was no quarrel. Only sweet dream wishes and kisses.

I love that time right before the Sand Man comes. When my body is still and I feel like I might fade into my sheets.
Sometimes Jeff has is hands in my hair. That makes for Zzzzzz in seconds.
Last night I couldn't think of one of his faults while I lay there in those moments. There was only images of his best. He is so good. He makes me beautiful when I don't feel it myself. His righteousness is a foundation in our lives.

His breath lingered and it starting lulling me to sleep. I shed a tear in my half asleep state and whispered "You're a good man."
"I love you- so much."


There is Love


♥

Do you follow date night rules?

I go out on dates with my husband weekly. The other day I heard some dating rules for married folks on the radio. Before they even began I got all puffed up thinking that there wasn't any rules that I was breaking, HELLO!! I failed. Mostly, because I like to make lists and check them off, sometimes my approach to these dates aren't always romantic in nature. Sadly I can't remember the list of 10 because I didn't think it was safe to write them down while I was driving. (One time I read the Visiting Teaching message while driving. Shhhhh. Dont' tell anyone.) One I remember was- Don't talk about problems with the kids. OOOOPS!

Do you have any rules you consciously or unconsciously follow while out on the town with your man/ woman?


♥

Love should never end.

My dad got married. Gasp? Most are surprised at this. My mom died on August 18th and assured us before she died that she wanted my dad to marry as soon as possible. She even gave suggestions. Sadly, there's been gossip and assumptions. I for one am very happy. His wife's name is Sharon, she's from Michigan and he met in her online. I get along with her very well and think she's a sweetheart. She loves on my kids and has already won their hearts. Whitney is smitten with her. Sharon and I actually have some similarities in our personalities.
They got married for the first part of January in Michigan. They're living in my dad's house, I'm fine with that too. Its funny, I tried to get myself riled up about it, and thought it should ruffle my feathers but it hasn't. I think its because I don't want my heart to hurt anymore. I can't do anything about it and I do want my dad to be happy. It is something else to watch your dad lose the love of his life. The night my mom died, I was there. I watched her take her last breaths and waited for the undertaker to leave with her. I can't even begin to put into words the feelings my heart had to go through, and when I got home I snuggled up to Jeff in bed and cried more than I thought was possible.
My dad went to bed that night and no one was there. The emptiness in that rips my heart out. So yes, I'm okay with him getting married again. If you've really loved in this life it gives you all the more reason to love again. I think my dad is honoring my mom by loving again. If my life was cut short and Jeff was alone, I'd want the same thing for him. I'd like to think that he'd make her a pretty good husband because quite frankly our marriage is, well, I don't know if I can describe it. Maybe I can try.

Yesterday I brought the kids to church by myself because Jeff was already there for meetings he had. As the meeting began there was no sign of Jeff. Every time there was movement in the back of the chapel I glanced back to see if it was him. Finally, about 10 minutes into the meeting I glanced back and there he was. My heart fluttered as he walked to our pew. He pushed the kids aside and took his seat right next to me. He promised me after we got engaged that he would sit right beside me at church, even if we had a quiver full of kids. He's always kept that promise. Sitting in church and holding his hand, while he sweetly whispers in my ear how much he loves me, is one of my most favorite things in all the world. And lately the kids have been so good. All four of them snuggle up to us and for an hour my cup runneth over. My marriage-takes my breath away.
Love in this life should never end when we lose someone we love. We should love even more and build on the that love, and open our hearts again all the more.

Turn Back Tuesday

10 Years ago in May 2008 I said goodbye to some of the best times of my life. I went to Rick's College and must argue that I had the best roommates ever!!! The relationships that I made and the life I lived while I was there changed me in so many ways. (Ricks prepared me for Jeff) When I left in May I wasn't done and planned on returning in the fall. I had been called to be the Relief Society President and was excited to go back UNTIL I met....


Jeff. We met on the 24th of May on a Sunday in church. Jeff and I met at the Singles Branch through our friends who were dating at the time. (He was checking me out at church!) We were inseparable from the start. Later in the evening of the first day we met we got together for a Fireside. Afterward, Jeff and our friends Amy and Fred came over to my house and I served them all dessert. We stayed up until 1:00 am talking and Jeff and I were totally flirting the whole night. When I left I asked him if he'd ever been to Red Robin and that he should come see me sometime while I was working there. I wrote down my number without him even asking for it. (Total Kim move. I didn't know how to play hard to get.) After that, its all history.


We kissed for the first time the next day and were talking marriage within a month. We spent everyday together from the day we met until we got married. I loved everything about him. I noticed right away that he was athletic, HOT, honest, frugal, and a gentlemen. He was wonderful with his nieces and nephews and I LOVED his family. It wasn't difficult for me to fall in love with him. At the end of June we went on an early morning bike ride before the sun rose, to the top of IP. While we sat on a blanket and took in the sunrise he turned to me and told me he loved me for the first time. I knew that he had been waiting to say it because he'd told me that he'd always said the words to quickly before. He wanted to tell me he loved me when he knew for sure, and he picked a pretty great time and place to do it. Its been forever etched in my mind and Oh so Romantic!! He was the best guy I'd ever known and I wanted to spend everyday with him.

We spent a lot of time outside- rock climbing, biking, changing sprinklers... We've talked about what attracted us to each other before marriage. Its fun to think back on those days, and I always feel so thankful that I was at the right place at the right time, doing what I was supposed to be doing. Jeff remembers when we got together with friends one night the first week we met. I showed up later than everyone else. They were all sitting on the couch with a movie that they had just barely started. I walked in and asked what they were watching. When I found out what it was and realized it was R. I told them that I wouln't watch an R movie (all while my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest because I was sooo nervous). He took note. I wasn't always like that. After Ricks I wanted to be good.

I have no doubt that without the change of heart I had at Ricks I would not have been ready to meet him when I did. I look back and see how Heavenly Father prepared me for my life. My life is good. My marriage is a continual blessing. I feel beautiful in everyway because of him. He helps me be good. He's taught me about charity, honesty, and how to love myself.



♥

Welcome home honey!

On a regular basis I'm kinda grumpy when my hubby crosses the threshold after his 12 hour work day. I don't like to be. I try not to but its just a tough thing for me. The homework and dinner rush is crazy sometimes and it razzes my brain!!

On Monday I got a brilliant idea. I was cleaning and dancing to the Music & Lyrics soundtrack. I was being totally goofy while I was dancing to "Pop Goes My Heart" and you couldn't have made me mad if you tried. Ah Ha!! That's it. Do the same dance for Jeff when he gets home!!

He liked it. A lot. I think he was a little embarrassed for me, but still, so much better than this:

We should consider every day lost in which we have not danced at least once. - Nietzsche, philosopher

♥
By mom247 at 2008-10-20

Ever take your sweetheart for granted??

I have. I've been so self-absorbed the last couple of months that the man in my life has felt a little left out. I've been struggling to fill the hole left in my heart, left over from watching my mom dwindle, to seeing her die, then having her disappear from my days. Its a tough road full of emptiness; longing for something that can no longer be.

I have to admit I've been selfish, wanting him to make me happy but not reciprocating that loving feeling. I was bending over backwards to make the house perfect, making sure the kids were in line, and begrudgingly fulfilling my wifely duties all the while constantly wanting a pat on the back, and finding fault with almost everything he did.

Well, I'm happy to report, that I'm back on track and so therefore, WE'RE back. When I'm feeling down in the dumps seems like I lose total perspective and everything is about me. After some gut wrenching "talks" my eyes were totally open and I was able to see how I hurt Jeff. Guys are really not all that complicated. My husband is about TIME and RESPECT. He loves it when I spend time with him, talk with him about what's in his heart and just be willing to love him for him.

It also helped to understand, again, that he his different than me in so many ways and when I while I can fixate on something for 4 days, he's long forgotten it and moved on. I also had some help from Dr. Laura's "The Proper Feeding and Care of Husbands". Now, I know that there are some people that can't stomach her but let me tell you, her book on tape helped me understand way I had been sooooooo wrong. I didn't appreciate some of her language and some her talk about sex but for the most part she is right on.

Most of all I just needed to look around and take an evaluation on the loved ones in my life and notice that they don't thrive when I'm not filling their lives with SUNSHINE. "Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."J.M. Barrie author of Peter Pan (I've loved this quote ever since President Uchtdorf uttered them at the RS broadcast. )




Next month we will celebrate our 10th anniversary and I'm giddy to be his. GRATITUDE fills my heart with reverence for his life and I feel utterly blessed that his love is intertwined with mine.

The gushy meter is off the charts. I LOVE IT!

By mom247 at 2008-10-20

One more- one of my very favorites!

Roses

Jeff was home from work yesterday and today! Work conditions for him are just to treacherous so he gets to be at home. He woke up and took off yesterday morning at 6:30 to hunt for a snow shovel before everyone else did. He beat the rush and also came home with a little surprise for me.The last couple of days we'd been a little short with each other and we finally got everything resolved on Sunday. We had a really good talk and it's amazing what can happen when I forget about my own feelings for a minute and realize he has them too. He doesn't wear them on his sleeve like I do, but I've got to remember that he does have deep feelings and I need to talk to him more and really know him. We can be together for four days but never feel "connected" if we don't step back and realize we have to stop going through the motions and really take time to intertwine our thoughts and feelings. I think it takes great skill to communicate with men. I admit that I'm not too great at it. I didn't have a good relationship with my dad while growing up and I certainly didn't have any boyfriends that I talked to for hours. I can talk to Jeff and then to my sister and I get so much more out of my talks with my sister than with Jeff. Its so weird. Sometimes I really feel like we speak different languages and I know that there are probably relationship books out there that could back me up. Anyway, I am thankful for husband that wants to talk to me on more than a surface level its just more difficult than I want it to be.