Found from my digital archives

Love my baby girl miss her when she was bity.Love that 3 year old's chubby kissin' cheeks.Love how much Jeff loves my girls. One of my favorite things?To sit next to my loves in church.Especially Jeff.He always sits next to me. The kids each have a Sunday assigned to sit by me,

no more quarrels about the coveted mom spot.

Jeff's hand on my back or his fingers in my hair.

One of the kids snuggles and looks up at me.

Drawing paper and pens out after sacrament is passed.

An occasional finger to the mouth and a silent Sshhhhh.

 ♥

To be adored...

...in an email,

I don't want to click delete.

He sent it September 3rd.

He knows things about me that aren't really all that pretty.

Yet,

he still thinks I'm beautiful.

Hey Beautiful,

I was going to email earlier but was a little busy so decided to wait. I was going to cuz someone asked if the pic of you on the computer was my wife. They said you were beautiful. (this is where I almost emailed you. Then after that and before now someone else said the same thing. I also had the same comment yesterday. There were lots of comments when I first put it on too. One of the people today asked me how I managed to marry you. I told them I was a good salesman. Thanks for being my beautiful wife.

There is Love

I've been sorting through a box of memories...

...Old cards from mom
...Love letters from Jeff
...High School ASB cards
...Devon's first baby outfit
...My wedding dress

I found a little music stand that sat on my bridal shower cake. It holds a picture of Jeff and I and plays this pretty song.

THERE IS LOVE (Paul Stookey)

He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts.
Rest assured this troubadour is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits here has caused Him to remain,
for whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name,
There is love. There is love.

Oh, a man shall leave his mother, and a woman leave her home.
They will travel on to where the two will be as one.
As it was in the beginning, is now until the end,
woman draws her life from man
and gives it back again and there is love.
Oh, there's love.

Well then what's to be the reason for becoming man and wife?
Is it love that brings you here or love that brings you life?
For is loving is the answer then who's the giving for?
Do you believe in something that you've never seen before?
Oh, there's love. There is love.

He is now to be among you at the calling of your hearts.
Rest assured this troubadour is acting on His part.
The union of your spirits here has caused Him to remain
for whenever two or more of you are gathered in His name
there is love. Oh, there is love.

I've always loved this song.

I gifted the trinket to my oldest daughter yesterday. The perpetual wind up and twinkles of this song have brought reflection.

Sometimes I feel tangled up in my emotions. I think too much. Mostly about my faults. I think this is good, but sometimes its bad. Especially when it makes me freeze up and feel down. If I lived all by myself I don't think I'd ever really see myself. Being a wife and a mother is so hard. I know I contribute to the difficulty I often feel in these roles. I wish away some of the difficult moments but I know they make me grow.

When you're married, your spouse gets to see the faults you keep pretty well hidden from the rest of the world. I have spats and disagreements with the one person that's very aware of my weaknesses.
The kind that keep us on the opposite sides of our king size bed.
I fume.
He falls asleep.
In the middle of the night we find each other in the middle, snuggle close and apologize.
With some needed sleep, we both remember that we both were wrong in our own little ways.

Last night there was no quarrel. Only sweet dream wishes and kisses.

I love that time right before the Sand Man comes. When my body is still and I feel like I might fade into my sheets.
Sometimes Jeff has is hands in my hair. That makes for Zzzzzz in seconds.
Last night I couldn't think of one of his faults while I lay there in those moments. There was only images of his best. He is so good. He makes me beautiful when I don't feel it myself. His righteousness is a foundation in our lives.

His breath lingered and it starting lulling me to sleep. I shed a tear in my half asleep state and whispered "You're a good man."
"I love you- so much."


There is Love


♥

Do you follow date night rules?

I go out on dates with my husband weekly. The other day I heard some dating rules for married folks on the radio. Before they even began I got all puffed up thinking that there wasn't any rules that I was breaking, HELLO!! I failed. Mostly, because I like to make lists and check them off, sometimes my approach to these dates aren't always romantic in nature. Sadly I can't remember the list of 10 because I didn't think it was safe to write them down while I was driving. (One time I read the Visiting Teaching message while driving. Shhhhh. Dont' tell anyone.) One I remember was- Don't talk about problems with the kids. OOOOPS!

Do you have any rules you consciously or unconsciously follow while out on the town with your man/ woman?


♥

Love should never end.

My dad got married. Gasp? Most are surprised at this. My mom died on August 18th and assured us before she died that she wanted my dad to marry as soon as possible. She even gave suggestions. Sadly, there's been gossip and assumptions. I for one am very happy. His wife's name is Sharon, she's from Michigan and he met in her online. I get along with her very well and think she's a sweetheart. She loves on my kids and has already won their hearts. Whitney is smitten with her. Sharon and I actually have some similarities in our personalities.
They got married for the first part of January in Michigan. They're living in my dad's house, I'm fine with that too. Its funny, I tried to get myself riled up about it, and thought it should ruffle my feathers but it hasn't. I think its because I don't want my heart to hurt anymore. I can't do anything about it and I do want my dad to be happy. It is something else to watch your dad lose the love of his life. The night my mom died, I was there. I watched her take her last breaths and waited for the undertaker to leave with her. I can't even begin to put into words the feelings my heart had to go through, and when I got home I snuggled up to Jeff in bed and cried more than I thought was possible.
My dad went to bed that night and no one was there. The emptiness in that rips my heart out. So yes, I'm okay with him getting married again. If you've really loved in this life it gives you all the more reason to love again. I think my dad is honoring my mom by loving again. If my life was cut short and Jeff was alone, I'd want the same thing for him. I'd like to think that he'd make her a pretty good husband because quite frankly our marriage is, well, I don't know if I can describe it. Maybe I can try.

Yesterday I brought the kids to church by myself because Jeff was already there for meetings he had. As the meeting began there was no sign of Jeff. Every time there was movement in the back of the chapel I glanced back to see if it was him. Finally, about 10 minutes into the meeting I glanced back and there he was. My heart fluttered as he walked to our pew. He pushed the kids aside and took his seat right next to me. He promised me after we got engaged that he would sit right beside me at church, even if we had a quiver full of kids. He's always kept that promise. Sitting in church and holding his hand, while he sweetly whispers in my ear how much he loves me, is one of my most favorite things in all the world. And lately the kids have been so good. All four of them snuggle up to us and for an hour my cup runneth over. My marriage-takes my breath away.
Love in this life should never end when we lose someone we love. We should love even more and build on the that love, and open our hearts again all the more.

Welcome home honey!

On a regular basis I'm kinda grumpy when my hubby crosses the threshold after his 12 hour work day. I don't like to be. I try not to but its just a tough thing for me. The homework and dinner rush is crazy sometimes and it razzes my brain!!

On Monday I got a brilliant idea. I was cleaning and dancing to the Music & Lyrics soundtrack. I was being totally goofy while I was dancing to "Pop Goes My Heart" and you couldn't have made me mad if you tried. Ah Ha!! That's it. Do the same dance for Jeff when he gets home!!

He liked it. A lot. I think he was a little embarrassed for me, but still, so much better than this:

We should consider every day lost in which we have not danced at least once. - Nietzsche, philosopher

♥
By mom247 at 2008-10-20

Ever take your sweetheart for granted??

I have. I've been so self-absorbed the last couple of months that the man in my life has felt a little left out. I've been struggling to fill the hole left in my heart, left over from watching my mom dwindle, to seeing her die, then having her disappear from my days. Its a tough road full of emptiness; longing for something that can no longer be.

I have to admit I've been selfish, wanting him to make me happy but not reciprocating that loving feeling. I was bending over backwards to make the house perfect, making sure the kids were in line, and begrudgingly fulfilling my wifely duties all the while constantly wanting a pat on the back, and finding fault with almost everything he did.

Well, I'm happy to report, that I'm back on track and so therefore, WE'RE back. When I'm feeling down in the dumps seems like I lose total perspective and everything is about me. After some gut wrenching "talks" my eyes were totally open and I was able to see how I hurt Jeff. Guys are really not all that complicated. My husband is about TIME and RESPECT. He loves it when I spend time with him, talk with him about what's in his heart and just be willing to love him for him.

It also helped to understand, again, that he his different than me in so many ways and when I while I can fixate on something for 4 days, he's long forgotten it and moved on. I also had some help from Dr. Laura's "The Proper Feeding and Care of Husbands". Now, I know that there are some people that can't stomach her but let me tell you, her book on tape helped me understand way I had been sooooooo wrong. I didn't appreciate some of her language and some her talk about sex but for the most part she is right on.

Most of all I just needed to look around and take an evaluation on the loved ones in my life and notice that they don't thrive when I'm not filling their lives with SUNSHINE. "Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others cannot keep it from themselves."J.M. Barrie author of Peter Pan (I've loved this quote ever since President Uchtdorf uttered them at the RS broadcast. )




Next month we will celebrate our 10th anniversary and I'm giddy to be his. GRATITUDE fills my heart with reverence for his life and I feel utterly blessed that his love is intertwined with mine.

The gushy meter is off the charts. I LOVE IT!

By mom247 at 2008-10-20