My photo
Every morning I wake up with a head full of things to do. I scramble around trying to put them in lists of importance all while trying to keep the peace within my little brood (trying to recall everything I've learned and read about parenting at the same time.) I love being a wife and the quirks that come with having my man forever. I love to be creative and thrive on crossing off my to do list. I strive to find balance and put first things first which brings me PEACE & JOY and allows me to sleep so much easier when I do. I think that one of the secrets to being HAPPY in life is to find that balance. I'm learning how to be kinder to myself and learning patience in progress. Everyday, through the thick and thin of life I'm trying to turn my heart towards heaven and remember what's really important.Oh, and I love to eat, so much so that I love to exercise too.

2.05.2010

My heart

Broken HeartImage by Gabriela Camerotti via Flickr



I've been thinking a lot about my spirit. 


The part of me that doesn't need any bronzer or mascara.
Ever since I went to dinner with Rebecca (a blind woman in our ward), 
Ever since I got an email from my little sister,


And then again this morning

when I read an article written about Nie
 "When she awoke, everything had dramatically changed: her physical appearance having to endure constant pain and her sense of who she was.  Stephanie was forced to reinvent herself."

  I keep thinking about the qualities of my heart.
I've been spending a lot of time trying to get my body in shape.
1 hour of spin class.
1 hour of Zumba.
Both on the same day.
My body is changing and I'm happy about that
but my spirit could use a workout.
Everyday my attention and focus is on the things in my life that I use my senses to understand.
Today I'm trying to find the senses to understand me.
The me that doesn't change with mascara or a really cute outfit, 
The me that I blind woman would like to know.
To sit and talk with her gave me something to ponder about.
She will never see the outfits I wear,
the contents of my home,
her husband may explain my phyisical attributes,
 but her first impressions of me were formed 
when I spoke with her.
And those words were from inside.
I think over and over about Nie.
What would I do?
How would I be?
So many of the things that defined her identity were stripped from her.
Yet she still remains so beautiful to me.
How does a woman really define herself?
Is the divinity within me tangible to others?

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5 comments:

  1. DeAnne2/05/2010 5:45 PM

    love it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Alicia2/06/2010 1:16 PM

    That's a lot of good things to think about. Would you do me a favor? Invite Rebecca to our mom's lunch if you think she'd like that. This was such a beautiful post. I am having a HARD time getting in shape and I'm almost to the point of giving up! But I do think that I need an attitude adjustment on the inside. Where do you do spinning classes?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kim2/06/2010 2:42 PM

    Pull me aside at church and we'll talk. I just started spinning this last month. You CAN lose the weight. After babies is hard. I gained 50 with all my kids. And I have to work hard to get off because always come off.

    ReplyDelete
  4. tharker2/08/2010 1:23 PM

    I've never thought of it from this perspective. It's beautiful and haunting at the same time. How would someone like your friend see me? It really makes me think.

    When you said that all she had to go on was your voice, I immediately could hear your soft, sweet voice in my head and I have no doubt that what she heard is what I see in you. Kindness, love, acceptance, strength.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Stephanie2/11/2010 1:48 PM

    I just wanted to let you know that your posts make me think about who I am and what I'm becoming. If someone as wonderful as you feels as though they need to improve on some things, how many things do I need to improve on?

    You're my hero...

    ReplyDelete

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