Happy Days

I haven't been keeping up with all the good memories.

Sweet things are happening all around me.

A couple months ago my 6 year old daughter surprised me and cleaned my kitchen.

The crazy thing about it was she only had a short amount of time to work.

Yet her effort was grown-up quality.

She took it upon herself to look at the kitchen and decide that something needed to be done,

 she unloaded the dishwasher (that was very full),

loaded the dirty dishes,

cleaned off and wiped down the table and counter tops,

and swept and spot mopped the floor.

When I walked I was in so much shock. 

I looked at her and cried.

Then I hurried over to her and picked her up,

smothered her with kisses and hugs.

The day before had been Sunday.

It hadn't been a very good mom day.

I had a melt down.

I ranted and raved about not having help and on and on...

she took it to heart.

When I asked why she did it, she said that I had too much work to do all alone.

She melted my heart.

Sweet girl.

******

A few weeks ago I went to Hawaii and left my kids with a family friend.

I called to check on things, 

and I didn't get a very good report.

I was sick and worried about the burden my friend was dealing with thanks to my kids.

When I came home I was a wreck trying to get to the bottom of things.

I did what most of us moms do when our kids mess up,

I started getting down on myself.

I felt guilty because I knew that I hadn't been doing my best.

Its so easy for me to get caught up in things that take my best efforts away from my family.

So after I had a little pitty party and some minor melt downs, 

(a man in my ward saw one of my melt downs at the school, nice!)

(His family brought me homemade bread later that night.)

I forgot about myself and decided to do something about it.

Its funny how I get myself in a tizzy.

I can get so easily weighed down by my shortcomings.

Anyway,  little by little I'm seeing improvement.

In myself, in my kids.

 

************

My oldest son is kind of a tricky person to figure out.

I have to work at being the kind of mother he needs.

I think that I'm good at understanding the heart of other people.

But as a mom, something trips me up.

Mostly my own selfishness I think.

My kids are not robots.

I want so much to help them become happy, confident people.

I'm trying so hard to build them up even when they are doing something wrong.

Its a tough thing to make good decisions when you don't have a happy heart.,

I've decided that one of my goals every day is to help my children have happy hearts.

I'm pretty sure I know the secret.

Love,

Service,

Forgiveness,

Laughter,

Fun,

Work.

just to name a few.

I also hope they have confidence and high self worth.

I really struggled with that right around 12-18. 

I know its totally normal but I think so many poor choices can happen 

when  a child feels a lack in self confidence.

3 weeks ago my 10 year old son stood at the pulpit and bore his testimony eloquently and with sweet emotion.

I was overcome with deep emotions of love and pride.

Mostly I  was reminded at where my best efforts should be.

I love this work.

With all its ups and downs.

I love kneeling by my sons bed and burying my kisses in his neck.

I love the unconditional love my kids have for me.

 I think about it when I think of my feelings for my mom.

I have tender feelings.

I want my kids to know my heart.

When they walk into our home I want them to feel at peace.

I want our home to be a safe harbor.

 I pray I won't let things distract me.

My pride,

my inadequacies,

my fears,

my doubts,

and all the little silly things that get me sidetracked.

I have important work to do.

gotta go!

♥