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Every morning I wake up with a head full of things to do. I scramble around trying to put them in lists of importance all while trying to keep the peace within my little brood (trying to recall everything I've learned and read about parenting at the same time.) I love being a wife and the quirks that come with having my man forever. I love to be creative and thrive on crossing off my to do list. I strive to find balance and put first things first which brings me PEACE & JOY and allows me to sleep so much easier when I do. I think that one of the secrets to being HAPPY in life is to find that balance. I'm learning how to be kinder to myself and learning patience in progress. Everyday, through the thick and thin of life I'm trying to turn my heart towards heaven and remember what's really important.Oh, and I love to eat, so much so that I love to exercise too.

5.28.2010

Discoveries.

When I was naive I romanticized all there was about motherhood. 
Many times mothers of grown children have told me to enjoy my little ones.
I didn't understand.
Now I do.
I have my own life with it ups and downs.  
I struggle daily to delete the negative thoughts in my head,
to look toward Heaven and remember covenants made,
to be a rock to my family,
and balance all that's required of me.
 I'm becoming someone.
The becoming takes 
experience- good and bad,
it takes time,
and it requires the Lord.
Now,
In my line of work, 
I've discovered that I need to teach 
4 other people how to become, 
before I know how to do it myself.
Its not easy!!!!
I've cried more in last month over my children
than ever before.
I did 4th grade once, and now I'm dealing with it again.
Kids at school are mean.
What is cool?
And what is popular?
My 10 year old and I went out the other day.
He was home with me.
Apparently
you can't go to school when you've threatened someone.
Even if that someone has kicked you in the crotch several times or called you horrible things.
4th grade has been dreamy!
So I'm out with my son,
getting a professional haircut, (as opposed to a mom cut)
 and buying some new clothes.
I'm trying to help him feel better.
(Before this we've had many heart to heart talks, tears, prayers together, hugs.)
I hold up a shirt.
I say something dumb like," Hey do you think this shirt would make you look cool?"
He looked up at me and said,
"I don't wanna be cool, I wanna be myself."
 My jaw dropped and tears swelled in my eyes.
Somehow this sweet boy of mine has discovered something all on his own.
One of the secrets of becoming.
I got on my knees and gave him a huge hug.
4th grade will be over soon.
12th grade is drawing near.
Honestly.
I'm scared.
Kids are mean.
What is cool?
What is popular?
Grade school, life;
they're tough enough once.
But 4 more times?


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7 comments:

  1. DeAnne5/28/2010 10:46 AM

    I think that is so wonderful that he has so much wisdom already as a young boy. He will grow up to be a great man. I feel your pain..if only just a little at this point...about having to go through the school years all over again, but as a Mother. Your kids are so lucky to have you as their mother.

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  2. calgal5/28/2010 10:47 AM

    I am scared too..Its tough being a mother. I have 2 2nd graders at home. Sometimes i get this strange feeling, if I am teaching the right things to my kids. Wonder if it will help them 20 yrs from now. Life keeps changing right? it has never been the same. what they will remember is the love we give.

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  3. Jen5/28/2010 6:02 PM

    I really can't figure out why kids are so mean...really, I'm pretty sure most of them have had their feelings hurt by the very same things they do that hurt others. It's too bad they all can't be as self-aware as it sounds like your son is. He's lucky to have a great mom like you.

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  4. Stephanie5/28/2010 9:56 PM

    You scare me. Since I was in young women's, I fantasize about being a mother and all the wonderful things that will come with that responsibility. Now, I'm not so sure I'll ever be ready. But I do know that I'll have you and other women like my mom and Missie to go to when I need advice. I look up to you so much and I hope you know how much I love you. You are such a great mother and the fact that you are constantly trying to improve is proof of that. Please continue to inspire me.

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  5. Elizabeth6/01/2010 9:27 PM

    I worry worry worry about everything in store. And worry about my own frailties and everything I know I am not doing right.

    But I Love love LOVE reading your insights and I think it quite a lovely thing that he has such a wonderful, competent, sincere, earnest mother. What a fabulous gift.

    I wish we could be neighbors. ;)

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  6. Kim6/02/2010 8:51 AM

    Thanks so much girls. I know I'm not alone and it helps my cause to have support from good women!! Love you all.

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  7. Alicia6/02/2010 12:29 PM

    I really liked that. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete

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