"So far losing myself in exercise has really helped me start to heal the HUGE whole in my heart. I have a good cry every once in while now and last night was another episode. If I look at my mom's smiling face beside my bed for my than a few seconds, the tears are sure to follow. Dangit, I miss her so much, I could just scream!! I was thinking the other day about how her death is similar to being called on a great mission. This analogy has helped me do deal. To me I picture a lot of really great people that sign up for this mission cause we all want to go. Its a great opportunity to serve and it would be an enormous accomplishment. But, there are only a few people that get chosen to go. Only the most righteous are chosen amongst the crowd. We are all trying to live our best so we can get picked. So out of the crowd my sweet, humble mother got chosen to go. This mission is a Heavenly mission that doesn't allow emails or even phone calls on mothers Day or Christmas. How I wish I could squeeze in just a few more conversations to tell her what is on my mind. This analogy helps me to realize that she is in a great place surrounded by wonderful people and that she is busy, lost in a great work that only I cannot understand. I look forward to the day when I can again kiss her sweet cheeks and feel her arms around me like all the hundreds of time before. In my mothers arms is when I feel at home. I miss that feeling and nothing can take its place. A mothers love is like no other and that is why I feel so empty.
This post started with exercise and ended with me crying. I don't know how that happens. All in all, I feel good and I know that a strong testimony and a great workout are to blame for that feeling within me."
Thanks Sherri.
♥

Wow, who wrote that cause it made me cry! It sounds good when I read it from the outside looking in.
ReplyDeleteWow, that was so beautiful. You girls are all amazing. Your mom raised you all with wisdom, spunk, and love. She would be SOOO proud of all of you!!!
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