I've rolled that sentence around in my brain. I've pondered on what this really means for me. I haven't fully grasped all the changes that will happen in my life after she's gone. The other day I sat down beside her on the couch and nestled my face into the crook of her neck. I could hardly restrain my sobs. She always smells so good and I instantly feel comforted when she holds me. My heart cried out because it hit me just how much I am going to miss her sweet smell and so much more.
This sweet woman that I've been privileged to have as a mother is withering away and I'm watching her suffer. As of yesterday, the hospice nurse thinks she only has a week left. She could hardly talk today. She can't breath very well and it seems to take to much energy to speak. She hardly eats anything and when she does she can't keep it down. For some reason she is very nauseated.
Tonight, after family prayer I explained to my kids that grandma is very close to dying and that she's not getting better. Devon, buried his head in his arms and cried. We all held each other and Whitney said, "Mommy, its going to be okay, because Grandma is going to live again, and she will be in Heaven with Jesus." (My sweet sweet baby girl. I love her.) That very thing is the reason I will get through this. There is no doubt in my mind that I will see her again. I'm so very grateful that I know this. Please pray for my family. Goodnight.
- Kim
- Every morning I wake up with a head full of things to do. I scramble around trying to put them in lists of importance all while trying to keep the peace within my little brood (trying to recall everything I've learned and read about parenting at the same time.) I love being a wife and the quirks that come with having my man forever. I love to be creative and thrive on crossing off my to do list. I strive to find balance and put first things first which brings me PEACE & JOY and allows me to sleep so much easier when I do. I think that one of the secrets to being HAPPY in life is to find that balance. I'm learning how to be kinder to myself and learning patience in progress. Everyday, through the thick and thin of life I'm trying to turn my heart towards heaven and remember what's really important.Oh, and I love to eat, so much so that I love to exercise too.
So sorry Kim. I took Sherri to lunch yesterday and just hearing about what you guys are going through breaks my heart. My thoughts and prayers are with you!
ReplyDeleteHow was your trek experience?
I am so sorry Kim. So very sorry. Your family is in the entire Lott family prayers.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry Kim. Yes, your family is most definitely in our prayers.
ReplyDeleteI've never met your mother, but from the ways that you have described her to me, I am in awe. What a wonderful, strong, beautiful, and sweet, sweet woman.
Last week when Devon was here, he told my kids about the quilt that his Grandma had made for him. It was so obvious how special that beautiful quilt was to that sweet boy. I just wanted to share that with you.
I love ya, and am thinking about you.
Kimi, I an so very sorry to hear this news. It breaks my heart. I know how much she means to you. I can't even imagine what you have been going through.
ReplyDeleteWe will be praying for your family. I really hope she isn't in to much pain from this time on.
Take care Kimi.
Oh Kim, I am so sorry. You are in my prayers. I have been wondering how things were going. ((HUGS)) Love ya.
ReplyDeleteMy heart just aches for yours, Kim. I cannot imagine what I would do without my mother either, so I can scarely imagine the heartache you are suffering. I do want you to know that you are in our thoughts and prayers. Alma 7:12 Love- N
ReplyDeleteOh Kimi, I am in tears for you. I have been praying for you and Melanie and your family. Your sweet words about your mom touched my heart. She knows you will miss her, and I'm so glad you all have so much love to share with each other, and the gospel to help you through this. I know we haven't seen much of each other, but if I can help in ANY way, I want you to call or write me!
ReplyDeleteLOVE to you all.
Kimi Sue, my heart aches for you. I have been thinking of you a lot lately, and how hard this must be for your mom, and your family.I am so impressed with your faith. I think your mom is such a special person. I have so many fond memories of her. You are so much like her in so many ways. Isn't it so great to know that we can be together forever as families? Such comfort. If there is anything you need, please let me know. I love you lots, I think you are a wonderful person and I will continue to pray for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteOh Kim, what an understatement to say that this is a difficult time for your. I can't imagine your pain watching her suffer. I will also include you in my prayers. My love and thoughts are with you.
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