My friend Jan posted about graduation and I ended up posting in her comments. I do that sometimes. Hope it doesn't bug anybody.
Here's my comment that turned into a post (I've added more to it) :
High school was bitter sweet. I was very involved and was able to be ASB president my Senior year, but I always struggled with my self-worth. I was well-liked by everyone but I wasn't what I considered popular. I wanted to be popular and tried to be, but looking back, I can see that I compromised my values. I didn't know how to be myself. (I also wish I would've realized that my self-worth was not directly connected to having a boyfriend.)
Graduation was a highlight because I received the Principal's Leadership Award and my name will always be on a plaque at the school. It's important for me to leave a mark, make a difference. I think I did a lot of good things I just wish I could've done more. My boyfriend at the time didn't show up and I was so mad. (Looking back, I think it was more of the idea of him being there just to say my boyfriend was there than him actually supporting me. I think having a boyfriend in high school is more like carrying around a trophy and involves feelings of validation. When I compare love now and love in high school its so easy to see the difference. Back then I really thought I was in love. I can't discount it totally but it doesn't even compare to how I feel now. Speaking of boyfriends. I saw and talked to two of my old boyfriends in one day, last Thursday. Weird.) I gave a speech to honor the principal and presented him with a gift. Graduation was long for being from such a small school.
I went to our lame Grad Party and after that it was all over.
My mom through a party for me. I got a cedar chest for graduation. My mom had always wanted one.
I helped plan my 10 year reunion and I really enjoyed going to it. I was able to resolve some conflicts and misunderstandings with one of the guys that wasn't very nice to me. And... I was able to bask in the joy of being one of the only ones that had a rich full life. (living the gospel is a great blessing) It felt sooo good to go and not feel even the slightest pressure to fit in. Everyone's lives mirrored their behavior during the reunion. I graduated with about 70 kids and we all pretty much grew up together. It was very insightful and a big growing experience for me to see that what I wanted in high school isn't even close to what I want now. It can sometimes be difficult to be different but when I'm true to myself I sleep so much better at night. Living life with integrity isn't something too many people do anymore. It takes courage and faith to stand alone. I didn't get that in high school. I wish I would've. I think I would've been happier. Although, I don't think most teenagers think about those kind of things.
College was a blast and helped teach me how to be the girl I wanted to be. I had the best roommates. It it weren't for Ricks College the experiences I had, and the people I met I don't think I would've been ready to meet Jeff.
Would I go back? Only if I could do it all over with what I know now. Although, I learned some lessons that will come in handy when dealing with my own teenage children someday. I have wisdom that I wouldn't trade.
Like the new header. Very cute. I have found such healing in posting about High School. It has been a pretty heavy burden over the course of my years. It helped so much to know that others struggled through it and that we can move on and find happiness outside that time frame.
ReplyDeleteLoved your post about your experiences. I think we all go through times where we feel that we could have done things alittle differently. But the way I look at it is, I love those that go through some harder life experiences because they hold a better understanding towards others and have a little more compassion at others faults and difficulties. Life lessons are where we usually grow to become a better person.
Thanks for sharing Kimi.
I really wish that in high school I could have known what I know now. But I also think that maybe I wouldn't know what I know now had I not made some of those dumb teenager mistakes.
ReplyDeleteI loved reading about your graduation, but even more I loved reading about the way you felt at the 10 year reunion. I felt the same way! It was so interesting to see some of those people STILL trying to be "cool". It made me sad for them.
This was a great post Kim!
Oooh, your header is perfect!!
ReplyDeleteKimi Sue,
ReplyDeleteYou are so great! I love that you can be so honest with yourself and others. Funny that you posted this, I always reflect on this time of year and it brings back a flood of memories. I would love to go back, but just like you, only knowing what I know now. So fun!
I too would have to say I had the best roomies at Ricks!
Love you!
Looks like someone made a 3 column template :) Great job!!!
ReplyDeleteAs a matter of fact, I did. I didn't, however, take a shower yet. It took my awhile to figure it out. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Kim. I never knew that you knew so many of my Mathews cousins. How funny. Here we were in the same ward for like forever and I never knew that about you. I really liked this post. High School seems to be a hard time for so many people. That is when most kids are so vulnerable and insecure. The one thing that I think would help them the most is to understand what a tiny almost insignifigant part of their lives this is. High School does not define a person at all, but sadly it takes people a long time to figure that out.
ReplyDeleteNice to reconnect with ya. From Susan Sorenson.