Beauty - in projection and perceiving - is 99.9% attitude. ~Grey Livingston

5 Things I like about Me....
I've decided to take the challenge that was started by this girl (Thank you), and continued with this, this, and this girl. I definitely love myself and appreciate more of my qualities now more than ever. But...I, like most girls, struggled with my appearance mostly in my teen years but I also remember feeling ugly in elementary school. (I had one ugly uni-brow until I was in 10th grade!) There was a boy that used to walk behind me on the way home and tease me about my red hair. In fourth grade I was "in love" with Jeremy, unfortunately the feelings weren't reciprocated. At a young age I started to formulate an opinion of myself that wasn't very healthy to my self-esteem. I remember in particular when I had finally had enough of his lack of interest. I mustered up all the courage I had, approached him while he was walking to the bus after school, and demanded to know why he didn't like me. I asked him if it was because of my red hair or the big mole on my neck. I don't remember what he said but he basically blew me off. I could go on and on about other experiences but to get to the point I think that it was so sad that I based my self-worth on how others felt about me. It was a huge detriment to me to have those feelings, especially in high school. In the last 12 years I've finally began to reverse the unhealthy way I felt about myself. I think the first step in my journey was really believing that I am a Daughter of God. I got my patriarchal blessing when I was 20 and in those quiet moments I understood more than ever the special qualities I had and what a great work I would do in this life. In college I had BEAUTIFUL roommates. The kind of girls that turn heads. They all seemed to have much more self confidence because they were so fun and outgoing. I felt way too serious and was somewhat of Debbie Downer. I didn't feel like I was hardly ever the reason anyone, including guys, came over to our apartment. Well duuuh!!! No one wants to be around a girl who swims in self-pity and just sits around feeling sorry for herself.
During one of my pity parties one of my roommates went off. She told me that I should stop moping around and do something about it. I ran from the apartment and went somewhere to cry and get past the shock of her honesty. I was angry at first but realized how right she was. That experience was a turning point for me. I started working out with the help of my other roommate, had more intense and purposeful prayer, scripture study, and journaling, and slowly I began to develop the beginnings of self-love.

Jeff has made a huge contribution in how I feel about myself now. Being loved by a good man has been like medicine for my soul. It makes me feel beautiful to love, serve, and honor him. When we first got married I put myself down a lot . He used to say "I don't like it when you talk that way about my wife". He has NEVER said anything to cut me down or make me feel ugly. NEVER.
So all this said, I am still working on knowing that I am what I am and to make the best with what I've got. I'll explain... I'm a red-head. Always will be. My mom threatened my life life if I ever colored my hair and after years of wishin' and hopin' for something different I'm started to finally realize that my hair makes me very unique. I've gone through different stages where I longed to be a sun-tanned blond (like my sisters), or and olive-skinned brunette. Mostly someone with skin that soaks up the sun and looks lovely. I've come to terms with the fact that this will never be. It is not in my genetic makeup to have this kind of skin. (But thank goodness for sun-less tanner and bronzer. Love that stuff.) I can make myself totally miserable if I look through a magazine and wish and hope for something that will never be. I know that when I've stewed over something I have no control over, it sucks any beauty potential right out o' me. I think the secret to beauty is attitude. I've noticed that I'm much more attractive when I feel good about myself and I'm doing everything in my power to take what qualities I have and make the best of 'em. So... without further ado.

1. I like my hair. I like the color, the texture. I'm "that red-head over there". Jeff can spot me a large crowd very easily. I can do about anything with my hair (with product and tools) I've been told a gazillion times that "you can't get my color out of a bottle",for this reason I've only lightly highlighted but never colored my hair.
   
2. I like my big hazel eyes.
   
3. I like my full lips. I get them from my mom. They're especially good for kissing!
   
4. I like that my figure is proportioned. I don't seem to have any trouble areas.
   
5. I like that I've always been strong and healthy. I can feel delicate and feminine but I can also be athletic and use to play a mean game of softball.
   

One final note. As little girls we are told how pretty and special we are. To say it out loud about ourselves is cute and adorable. At some point we stop doing this. Why?
I went to a meeting the other night where I sat with 7 other women. We were asked to tell everyone about ourselves. Only one woman, said anything about her qualities and it was very brief. All the rest of them talked about how tired they were, how all they did was such and such, and some only described their families and things about their children. It was very depressing. I wanted to know who they were. What made them special? I think we all forget to think about who we are and all the things that make us beautiful. Its not all about what we look like and what we do.
I have a mother heart. I'm kind, I want to be a peace-giver, I ache when others hurt, I am thoughtful, I am down to earth, I am honest, I am loyal, I am affectionate, I am skillful, I am sincere, respectful, valiant, crafty, intuitive. I really want to take my qualities and change the world in living my life the best way I can.



Taking joy in living is a woman's best cosmetic. ~Rosalind Russell

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.”

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor