The last couple of days we'd been a little short with each other and we finally got everything resolved on Sunday. We had a really good talk and it's amazing what can happen when I forget about my own feelings for a minute and realize he has them too. He doesn't wear them on his sleeve like I do, but I've got to remember that he does have deep feelings and I need to talk to him more and really know him. We can be together for four days but never feel "connected" if we don't step back and realize we have to stop going through the motions and really take time to intertwine our thoughts and feelings. I think it takes great skill to communicate with men. I admit that I'm not too great at it. I didn't have a good relationship with my dad while growing up and I certainly didn't have any boyfriends that I talked to for hours. I can talk to Jeff and then to my sister and I get so much more out of my talks with my sister than with Jeff. Its so weird. Sometimes I really feel like we speak different languages and I know that there are probably relationship books out there that could back me up. Anyway, I am thankful for husband that wants to talk to me on more than a surface level its just more difficult than I want it to be.
- Kim
- Every morning I wake up with a head full of things to do. I scramble around trying to put them in lists of importance all while trying to keep the peace within my little brood (trying to recall everything I've learned and read about parenting at the same time.) I love being a wife and the quirks that come with having my man forever. I love to be creative and thrive on crossing off my to do list. I strive to find balance and put first things first which brings me PEACE & JOY and allows me to sleep so much easier when I do. I think that one of the secrets to being HAPPY in life is to find that balance. I'm learning how to be kinder to myself and learning patience in progress. Everyday, through the thick and thin of life I'm trying to turn my heart towards heaven and remember what's really important.Oh, and I love to eat, so much so that I love to exercise too.
1.29.2008
Roses
Jeff was home from work yesterday and today! Work conditions for him are just to treacherous so he gets to be at home. He woke up and took off yesterday morning at 6:30 to hunt for a snow shovel before everyone else did. He beat the rush and also came home with a little surprise for me.
The last couple of days we'd been a little short with each other and we finally got everything resolved on Sunday. We had a really good talk and it's amazing what can happen when I forget about my own feelings for a minute and realize he has them too. He doesn't wear them on his sleeve like I do, but I've got to remember that he does have deep feelings and I need to talk to him more and really know him. We can be together for four days but never feel "connected" if we don't step back and realize we have to stop going through the motions and really take time to intertwine our thoughts and feelings. I think it takes great skill to communicate with men. I admit that I'm not too great at it. I didn't have a good relationship with my dad while growing up and I certainly didn't have any boyfriends that I talked to for hours. I can talk to Jeff and then to my sister and I get so much more out of my talks with my sister than with Jeff. Its so weird. Sometimes I really feel like we speak different languages and I know that there are probably relationship books out there that could back me up. Anyway, I am thankful for husband that wants to talk to me on more than a surface level its just more difficult than I want it to be.
The last couple of days we'd been a little short with each other and we finally got everything resolved on Sunday. We had a really good talk and it's amazing what can happen when I forget about my own feelings for a minute and realize he has them too. He doesn't wear them on his sleeve like I do, but I've got to remember that he does have deep feelings and I need to talk to him more and really know him. We can be together for four days but never feel "connected" if we don't step back and realize we have to stop going through the motions and really take time to intertwine our thoughts and feelings. I think it takes great skill to communicate with men. I admit that I'm not too great at it. I didn't have a good relationship with my dad while growing up and I certainly didn't have any boyfriends that I talked to for hours. I can talk to Jeff and then to my sister and I get so much more out of my talks with my sister than with Jeff. Its so weird. Sometimes I really feel like we speak different languages and I know that there are probably relationship books out there that could back me up. Anyway, I am thankful for husband that wants to talk to me on more than a surface level its just more difficult than I want it to be.
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I love the picture of you in the snow, it makes the roses look so vibrant!
ReplyDeleteIt is hard for us to communicate on the same level too. Lately I've been making a point to just sit and chat with him after the kids go to bed, even if only for a few minutes before he drifts off to sleep. Usually, I would put the kids to bed, and the practically RUN downstairs for my "me time". But I've noticed such a difference in the way that we interact with eachother, and I really enjoy our nightly chats. It took me a long time to realize that I was being selfish, and needed to share that time with him.
I love that he gave you flowers. That is so thoughtful.
If you ever would like to read some amazingly fantastic books about relationships in general, and marriage specifically, AlLL of the books by John Gottman are fantastic. He has done some especially groundbreaking research in the area of marriage and what he has found is inspiring. They are the kinds of things that can help you in your interaction with everyone you meet, but especially with your sweetheart.
ReplyDeleteIt's okay that you don't always understand each other perfectly, and totally normal that you feel you are speaking different languages. Have you ever heard the saying "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood?" That's a truly unselfish way to approach those conversations.
I think that in the end, what really makes the difference is that a) you truly love each other - enough to put the other first, b) you have similar devotions - such as your love of the gospel and c) you are willing to sacrifice for your sweetheart.
The spirit can really help, too. I've heard from many people that keeping a prayer in your heart when you are talking to people that are important to you can help you understand them, and find the words you need to say to help them understand you.
Hey! I have been thinking about you and hope that you are doing so well. I have had next to no time for blogging, and I have to run, but just wanted to say hello. Love, K :)
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